I won’t have time to do a December post due to all the travelling, so I thought it would be nice to do a small reflection of the 110+ days of exchange in Sweden so far. D-113; countdown is really feeling real as this chapter of exchange life is going to come to an end. I’ll try to share more about the ‘insides’ rather than always looking at the tangibles, and go about doing some self-reflection through this WordPress yet again.
It has been a very relaxing November, as I have been isolated in the dorm room most of the time. If I’m not studying, I’m just doing meaningless things like watching random videos or blasting music. The only event which I really did during the month was volunteering a TEDx event, which turned out to be one of the best spontaneous decisions ever. If I traced back how I got to know the event… it started at orientation day where everyone else decided to skip the later part of the talks because it was boring, but I ended up being the only one which stayed on. There was a booth for TEDxStockholm which I decided to sign up for, and gradually it progressed to me volunteering to help out the event. It was pure luck and fate that I didn’t have any classes on the day of the event, and I just went ahead with the decision even though I had an exam 2 days after the event. Listening live to an actual TED talk, meeting people from various backgrounds and learning so much about the world outside, these are the things that I love to see and learn through this exchange. I know this is something I keep repeating (again haha whoops), but trusting your gut feeling has worked out wonders for me. From small everyday decisions to solo travelling, I am very blessed that many of these decisions during the course of this exchange have turned out very well.
If there is something I miss, I guess it would have to be meaningful interactions. Very grateful to have D & K so close by in Stockholm, it’s delightful how we can just sit and talk random stuff for a long time. Instead of trying to gel with everyone, I have learnt to save my energy and vibes for the right people. Rather than making a new group of friends here (which I was hoping for even before exchange started), it ended up becoming more of a strengthening of current relationships. Sometimes things don’t work out what you wish for, but you just go with the flow of things that are given to you and let it be. You can’t force vibes to match; there’s no reason when you start to force meaning into certain things. Maybe I isolated myself from the world too much, so it would be interesting to see how I function as a person when I’m back in Singapore with everyone else. It’s so weird to say this, but I’m truly scared of needing to face people. If you realised, I never counted down to the days till I’m going back to Singapore. I got too used to life here in Sweden already, where my worries are what I should cook for myself for each meal LOL. There’s nothing in store back there, was life so monotonous just a few months ago?
This whole exchange has been a reaffirmation of some of the life principles that I have and wish to continue as I enter adulthood. Perhaps my views on some things in life have changed? Maybe people will find me different? I admit I have become much more lazy though LOL, skipping lessons like it’s nothing here. Not only tired physically, but tired needing to interact with people..? I have been muting WhatsApp chats left and right; as I’m tired from seeing all the meaningless talks from a few spamming in a whole group. Silence is golden; because when you are not talking, you are listening. This was what a TEDx speaker said to us backstage before her speech. Listen to your own thoughts, and come to peace with the toxic things that has beeb built up so you can let it go.
Less than a week of school, praying hard I pass all my modules so I can travel in peace during December. Whoever said that you don’t need to study to pass during exchange is a lie T.T. Finger crossed for my post SEP-adventures, please let it be a smooth one. No burning out of energy, letting the wanderlust continue for the last time, embrace the final days here in Europe and shelving all the worries and insecurities behind! Till then, back to studying for my finance exam~