Derusting In Progress

2 months ago; where exchange really felt like a fairytale

2 months ago; where exchange really felt like a fairytale

Traveling and being away from home also gave me the opportunity to focus on myself and get to know myself better. Meeting people from around the world, hearing their stories and visiting places I only imagined as a kid made me realise how small we are and how much there is to see and experience out there. I began to realise how so many of us get caught up with negativity that we often neglect not only the people around us but ourselves… Our twenties are fleeting and we will never be this free to spend this kind of time together, so I’m going to take this time to strengthen friendships and to take care of myself before we all get swept up by work, adulthood and life.

Read the above from a post on FB, pretty much sums up the essence of exchange and the mid-twenties crisis as we reach towards the final years as a student. It’s time for the traditional mid-semester rant reflection, and I’ll do my best to instil some positivity into this post! Shall split this post into smaller sections so that I can dissect the happenings so far in 2017.

#kdtthrowback2017

Rather than pondering whether it was the right choice to stay in TB3, I shall focus on the takeaways I had during those 2 short weeks leading up to D-Day. I already mentioned whatever was in my mind previously, but the foreign feeling was something which I was really dejected about during that period. So I drowned myself in practice in order to brush off any negativity that may have hindered me. I wasn’t proud of the work ethic and attitude I had towards this year’s concert neither; there was absolutely no motivation, only fear and guilt that I may be a burden to my fellow song mates. The motivation for dance only truly came after concert LOL (a little too late hahaha), so thankfully there was an outlet for the negativity bottled up in the heart. Sometimes I wonder if I had really went to Korea for exchange, would I have the discipline to go 1million on a regular basis HAHA, but I shan’t think of the what if’s because travelling across Europe was truly an eye-opener.

Big 4 Applications & Interviews

I really procrastinated this important task till after concert was over. I had to do some minor changes to the resume and cover letter, along with more psychometric and aptitude online tests. I never considered my resume and CAP to be very impressive, so I was pleasantly surprised to get at least one invite for an interview. Took time off the regular mugging to prepare for interviews in a much more serious manner this time around, but the initial nervous feeling was still there. The fluff is there, but crafting answers from past experiences in university made me realise how much I really stepped out of the comfort zone. Just another reminder how adulthood is truly creeping in and how I should treat my post-graduate plans on a more serious note. Crossing my fingers that I’ll be accepted to any 1 of them, and my summer holidays plan would be set! If not… time to go internship searching round 2 T.T

Time to stop caring (along with everything else!)

Let this be the last time that I will revisit this point. Emotions were in a total mess, but as time passes the heart settles down and these past few days have been small steps back to the correct direction. Building walls around the heart; and having no idea who are the ones that I could truly let those same walls come down. Life really has a way of surprising you with unexpected moments that will bring about many different emotions. Short takeaways for 2017 thus far: Learning how to accept imperfectness and ignore toxicity; focus on yourself and being your true genuine self. It’s so easy to lose your ownself in times of chaos and turmoil, so again don’t let the heat of the moment kill everything. Things happen and you might have your own opinion, but in the end none of these would actually matter in the future.

Meanwhile, taking 4 3k accounting core modules is such a brain cell killer, and I have been so off-form for the first half of the semester. Going to sectionals unprepared, giving low quality questions/answers for class participate and not preparing sufficiently for group projects, WAKE UP YOUR IDEA NICK! So please remember to prioritise, prioritise & prioritise! Signing out because I got a cheat sheet to prepare whoops! (yes back to minute and colorful handwriting) Going a bit off-topic now but omg Yoojung Lee is now my dance bias (insert emoji with heart eyes HAHAHA); the inner fanboy doesn’t die. December Korea Goals? Nahhhhh let’s focus on mid-terms first bleh hahas

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Turning Point

miss those solo travel moments~

miss those solo travel moments~

It has been an emotional roller coaster ever since I came back from exchange; for all the wrong reasons. Revisiting ugly sides of human beings, dealing with fake and toxic personalities whose actions disgust the hell out of me. Couldn’t focus on anything in life; feeling like I’m just living day by day. The whole body feel physically exhausted as well: lack of good sleep, pimples breaking out (awesome skin during exchange you will be missed T.T), losing weight and feeling lethargic so easily. It was seriously the worst way ever to start the new year. “What the fuck did I do to deserve this?” The thought which came up to my mind most of the time, but then again there are too many other things to be grateful about in my life. Everything just felt too ridiculous and it just kept coming. Tl;dr life has been shit LOL. Only recently, things started to settle down slightly and the breathing space I so dearly needed is finally there.

Again, this is just another post for myself as a reminder that better moments in life will be coming, and the only way is up from here. In the midst of all these shit happenings, there has been many takeaways and revisiting of life lessons. 3 years ago I was still stuck in army; and growth has been exponential ever since, especially as an university student. Thankful (as always yet again) for the short moments of temporary getaways where I didn’t have to deal with this emotional bullshit. Life’s greatest blessings do truly come in the weirdest forms and funniest timings.

What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.

No idea when this turning point for the semester will come, but for now let me try to work my way back on track. Back onto my self-proclaimed FABULOUS FEBRUARY! Trust your own intuition, trust your instinct, trust your inner self. There is no need to justify your actions and feelings; just do what works for you. You have a bad day, you go to bed, you wake up, and you work a little harder.

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slaying as always