October update time! Having the discipline to post at least once every month has been harder than I thought; and the challenge is actually having something worth updating about rofl. No new happenings in life since the last time I posted here; just the same ol’ shit with moments of gratitude along the way.
Y4S1 in a not so small nutshell so far: No midterms this semester but deadlines are piling up; it’s one project deliverable after another. It’s really a semester filled with just projects, and I’m here just wishing that I am not a burden to the groups that I am in. Group projects for level 4k modules aren’t as simple as straightforward as before, and clashes are bound to happen when opinions differ. Maybe I’m not used to having such a high proportionate of the workload being project-based so it has been a lot of visits to Starbucks typing away on the Macbook in Google Drive HAHAHA.
Sometimes I wonder if getting that PO is really as good as it appears to be… Motivation is totally non-existent and I can feel that I am not “desperate enough” to be hardworking. I wouldn’t say I have been COMPLETELY overwhelmed, as the stress factor of needing to do well is much alleviated. Freedom in the form of winter holidays feel so far away, even though it is already mid October. Only 2 finals but one of them is on the last day of the exam period, which kills any travel plans sadly because a getaway would have been really good. Just going to take it week by week, deadline by deadline.
Haven’t really taken care of the body; many nights of bad sleep, falling sick and getting injuries. You really need to listen to your own body, and you can’t just rely on willpower and determination to fight through. Haven’t been on social media much as well, which has been revitalising as comparison really stops and you feel contented with what you have.
(plus the fact that social media can be such a blatant lie at times) Indeed, social circles get smaller, responsibilities become heavier and threshold for bullshit gets much lower. Sick and tired of one-sided friendships/relationships and I know that I may not have given a fair chance for some, but sorry I’m really tired of needing to deal with such emotional bullshit. Optimism for #lastyearbestyear did feel like it’s shrinking, the laziness has definitely sinked into daily habits. Not good… not good at all.
Was backing up my photos during exchange (holy shit 9 months of procrastination) and I came across this post that I took a screenshot in my phone. Just going to copy it here as a friendly reminder for myself:
7 Secrets of Happiness
1. Have a good core group of friends.
2. Build some adventure into your life. Don’t fall into “the same old, same old”.
3. Research confirms that “stuff won’t make us happy” so clear out the junk – and only keep what you love.
4. Work on establishing balance in your life. Don’t be too busy or you’ll wind up depressed.
5. Give in to temptation every now and again. Too much discipline is boring in the end.
6. Like and appreciate yourself. Take time to notice and affirm your strengths.
7. Start living in the moment – don’t doubt every move. Accept your decision as the best one right now.
I always believed that the start for any journey is the hardest, and it has stayed the same. But it’s not how you start, it’s how you end it that really matter. Yes it will hurt; it will take time; it will require dedication; it will require that drive. It doesn’t get easier, you get stronger.