Time to get serious

More and more thoughts are running through my mind as I type this. I’m seriously starting to think too much and this is kinda making me lose my happiness. Worst, I’m bickering about the small things in life and not concentrating the big events ahead for me. In short, I need to stop getting bloody emotional about everything in life.

I think I’m at this point where I’m getting on my own nerves. Gone are the days I can do whatever I want, studies are dominating my life. Too much, but I guess that’s the opportunity cost if you want good grades (lol). In this sense, I’m here to remind myself that getting all nerdy and stuff is cool, and I just need to make sure I keep my sanity while I keep mugging. I need to revive that awesome feeling I had months before while mugging and everything is going to be OK.

The one issue that always tingles in my mind is my class. Last, last, LAST. So why are we so bad? Ok we may not have the best teachers, but that’s no freaking excuse. If you are in trouble, don’t be afraid to look for help. You need to face your problems, not come up with excuses. And tuition is not a wonder-solution, you need to put in your own effort as well. Last year, I was one of those assholes who keep failing. But now, as I see myself being the 1/3 of the class passing Chem, I wonder why. Most of the people in class probably have higher PSLE, GPA or even mid-year results than me, yet they can’t even pass and want to be the top. You gotta take baby steps, and effort is a continuous process you need to keep at, it’s not a 1-week journey at which you expect immediate results.

So what comes up these days in my mind? Attitude, just gotta keep at it and never give up. I’m not going to be constrained by certain boundaries and should be aiming for greater heights. Seeing other classes like Yong Sheng’s and Terence’s classes just make me go wow. These are environments you want to be in, challenges are also coming and everyone is pushing to be even better. Had a talk with Terence last week and made me realise a few things. One is that I’m still far away from my best, but as I said, baby steps. The 2nd is that we have to work what we have. Life doesn’t make it easy for you, you gotta find ways to get yourself out. Lastly, although I may mug crazily and still suck, don’t be discouraged because trying is always better than not trying.

Probably vented enough for today. I’m just going to be myself for the following days and let karma path its way. Maybe a little tweak in attitude and personality would help along the way. Till then, its probably less than 35 hours till SYF and I’m actually not nervous at all. Must be due to the immense practise we put in for the past few months. This theory would be applicable to the incoming A’s and there’s less than 200 days remaining till the dreaded A’s.

Just gotta keep pushing.

Baby I was born this way~

Motivation at an all time-high. *screams*

This won’t be a really long post, just another Friday post I like to write after a hectic week. I don’t know why, but I suddenly found motivation to chiong. Not sure why, but it’s doing wonders. It’s the kind of motivation which makes you want to scream to the world that “I can do it.”. This motivation is kind of strange, since they are sort of positives and negatives. So why do I want my A’s? For myself? Now, it’s more of the push to prove to others that I can do it, and whatever I’m achieving now isn’t just a one-time fluke. Now every time I study at school, I find myself smiling and smirking at the same time. Why? I’m smiling because I’m enjoying this ride, and no matter what happens around me, it just seems insignificant when you are focused. So why do I smirk? Well, I know that every time I get something productive done while others don’t, I’m climbing up slowly in the rankings and even if I don’t, I can find myself improving. I always like to “release” a sigh of relief, because I know that what I do will pay off, and at the end of the year, it would be all worth it.

So this is my mindset now, those who work hard and are willing to put in the effort, I wish that your efforts pay off and it will reflect in your results. Every time I go to the canteen or the library, I feel motivated to see people studying there. 100% pure focus, and makes me want to buy a drink, find a table and start mugging myself. Unlike some jokers out there, still playing around and relaxing when they are already behind. Keep fooling around, I’m happy that you’re having fun. I’ll like to see if you still can smile when you see your results. (: You people are already behind, and yet no actions are taken. In some sense, these group of people are my source of inspiration as well. They kinda reminds me of myself at Year 5, which points to the fundamental problem of getting your priorities correct. Less than a year ago, I just kept procrastinating, no motivation and as expected, fucking up my studies. I can still remember the criticism where people question my ‘luck’ in the Promos, and that they ‘mug goddamn hard’ for the whole year and yet they get worse results than me, who probably only chiong in the last 2-3 months. Well, the tides have turned. I’m making sure I don’t return to my old ways, and in the process, I would hopefully able to prove all my doubters.

Maybe all my recent posts have been too focused on my studies, but now studies are obviously my top priority. Never be afraid, and just run ahead. I feel bloody fucking awesome now. *goes back to do some work*.

I’m on the right track baby I was born this way~