The last brick wall

Yes, we’re finally on the last lap. Less than a month to the As, and it seems like there was more than 200 days to the As. Well, reality hits hard, and we are always done in the 12 years of education. Haven’t been posting for a while, and I won’t post here till after my A’s, so I will try to make this worthwhile.

Got back prelims, hit my expectations. Surprisingly, I hit my expectations for every subject, even my Maths haha. Exact results will come on Friday, but I know where I stand. Could have enter the 80 marks range if I did a little better in Chemistry and Econs, but now I know my weak areas, no point thinking about it and go straight for the As. Getting a bit cocky now, since I’m slacking, which is the WORST thing to do. To be honest, I didn’t feel like I put in 110% for the prelims, maybe around 80%, but I improved a lot. Got an A in Geography, which I am super happy about, especially when I thought I flunked. Although I told myself to be more optimistic this year, I always think of the worst for my exams, such as fucking up Maths etc. Turns out, I’m doing much better than expected, so that’s a definite plus. I tell myself that I have come a long way since the CTs last year, so slacking now will just put all the effort I put since then into shame. I think I really improved a lot, from someone who shy away from academics to one doing relatively well now. I mean, I’m someone who got a GPA of 2.8 in Year A, but I still vividly remember a screwed up assembly where your projected score for the As has a high correlation with your GPA. Well, take that, cause I don’t see myself flunking in As. HAHA!

There’s only 1 week left in school, and I’m glad I get to leave the god-forsaken school. To be honest, I think I would have been much better off in another class, but that’s bullshit since people like Jiayu and Boon are still owning in academics. I always wanted to positive environment in school, something like what I see in Yong Sheng’s class, but what I see in my class is the exact opposite. If you have the passion in something, doing it would come natural. Ok, it’s 2 am now, so I may just be ranting. I’m dreading the last week of school, can’t you just give me a week off so that I can study in peace? Other than that, I’ve definitely met an awesome group of people.

Nearing to the end point, I kinda lose a little motivation here and there, but I recently gained 2 new insightful ones. One of them would be Steve Jobs. I reviewed one of his talks in Stanford and the famous quote still sticks in my mind. “Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish”, is something really applicable now. I sort of follow only the hungry part, but that quote teaches a lot of things. If you want something, you gotta do something unconventional. Now that he recently passed away, he definitely left a legacy behind him. I learnt of his death on my iPod Touch, how ironic. The years of work he left behind would be an inspiration to many, and his actions speak for himself. Never give up, and go for your dream. His passion for Apple was simply amazing, and he would be definitely missed.

My second inspiration now is SNSD’s Seohyun (lol?). My bias used to be Taeyeon, but it’s slowly shifting to Seohyun. I’m just awed at how someone could be so upright and disciplined. Actually, I think she would have been better off as a student, since the idol status is probably stopping her from doing a lot of things, such as pursuing her studies. However, she’s clever to use her idol status into good use and I’m so glad that she got to meet her idol UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon. In the short of 2 weeks of holiday where I spammed SNSD videos, I learnt how mature of a person she is despite her just being 20. Now, I would try to emulate her style (Kinda) and hopefully get into gear in time for the As.

Probably one of the crappy posts all time, but until then, I will continue to study hard, and of course, no regrets.

ok she’s officially my new bias >.<

Mind Over Body

Quickly taking the chance to type out something before I run out of ideas :O

End of Week 8, 2 more weeks to GP Prelims, 4 more weeks to Prelims. Time flies REALLY, REALLY fast, and I’m not even 50% prepared. Honestly, I feel myself burning out already even though I didn’t really do much. I really hate school and starting to lose my motivation, a really long study break would be awesome. Hopefully, I can get my drive back because this is seriously the most important 3 months remaining in my 12 years in education. It’s the final lap of the long marathon, just gotta believe that I can do it, and as always, put in the constant effort and make my dreams turn in reality.

Another thing to take note this A’s is not a competition with others, it’s ultimately the battle against you and yourself. I always like to relate back to the classic analogy of brick walls, it’s there to show how badly you want it. There’s no shortcut in overcoming that brick wall, just hard work. I really, really want to own those people right in front of their faces. But of course, the main motivation should be fueled by something more happy instead of anger. I always remind myself not to compare myself and limit my growth. Other than that, I should not care about the results of others. I see myself being bottom 10% of the cohort into jumping into the top 30% of the cohort this year. If I can do amazing things like this, then I really have no idea what my limit is, and all I can do is just push myself, with the exception of burning myself out. Maybe it’s time to hit back at Starbucks and perharps pon a few schooldays :O

The last thing I would want to cover is my slacking, which is really going from bad to worse. One word: FOCUS. Ahhh, shit I’m seriously dropping into the mentality that I cannot study consecutive hours like before due to school and other lousy excuses, but hopefully again I would like to build my groove which I have been losing due to this fucked up thing called school. Lol I seriously hate school and it’s really becoming a waste of time, of course with a few exceptions such as the excellent Mr.Ng and Mr. Chang. It’s again a battle against myself, and really controlling myself from the external events and distractions. Concentrate, relax and also enjoy the ride. I found myself repeating again, and again, and I’m really running out of words haha.

Tried to keep this post short and sweet, other than that, all the best to myself HAHA. Hwaiting!