Introspect

School’s out, hello recess week! I was intending to do a post of different content, but I decided to do another update on my everyday life because it felt more appropriate. Half of my Year 1 Semester 2 is gone already oh my tian! Seriously university has this magic of eating time so fast. I really have so much to talk about, and it feels like so many things have happened over this short period of time. Take it as a continuation of the previous post, since the things I want to talk about hasn’t changed and I’m still following the same format.

#kdtEXO

#kdtEXO

Keep calm & #KDTthrowback 2015

The first major event for Year 1 Sem 2!! For those who don’t know what that means, it’s KDT’s first concert which I was part of. The concert had an interesting back story to it; the seniors weren’t satisfied with how one of their external performances turned out. The concert meant a lot to the seniors, since for the Year 3s it would most likely be their last chance to perform. University is the last place for us to try out new things out of our comfort zone, and throwback presented me this perfect opportunity. Shoutout to J who stuck along with me through our months of learning dance together. It was especially tough for the 2 of us who were complete noobs and forever lagging behind. I have always been a slow learner, and dance is no exception. It was depressing to see the seniors being able to dish out song after song while you’re there struggling with a single song. Reminder to self: Being bad at something shouldn’t be an excuse of not trying, and I am thankful to be given a chance to try out such a thing without being (largely) judged by my ability to dance.

As said in my insta post, this whole journey has been a huge step out of my comfort zone, but one that I am glad to have taken. I performed a grand total of 1 song LOL, but that single song gave me hell for the past month leading up to the concert. My first weeks were just dance, dance and dance, and it was the start of me lagging behind in my work. Of course, the forever procrastinating me told myself that I would catch up in work. If I were to sacrifice my ‘studying’ time for something else, I really wished it to be fruitful as possible. Maybe it’s too early to make judgments, so instead of hoping that this whole thing isn’t a waste of my time, just enjoy the whole process. 🙂

The concert itself wasn’t a big event, it was held at UTown Audi 2 on a Sunday evening. It really felt like us just putting up a performance for our friends. I would have been happy if at least ONE of my friends went for it. Yes, I’m so easily pleased right, just one. I know a lot of my friends don’t listen to kpop, so I didn’t bothered them as I didn’t want to force them to watch. Naturally, I just asked those who do enjoy kpop. Excluding my sister, i have 3 guests for the evening! I know I said this already to you 3, still I’m going to repeat myself again: it really meant a lot that someone I knew came, and even brought me some presents awwwww :’). jeongmal gomawo chingu.

the crew

The crew

I don’t have much to say since I only did 1 song, all the juniors were nervous since it was our first performance on a big stage. Although I have been on stage before, performing a music piece is totally different from a dance item. Usually, I’ll let my instrument do the talking and I always have something or someone in front of me; be it a music stand, a drum set or me sitting in the middle of the ensemble. With dance, it’s your body which is your mode of expression, and the feeling of vulnerability comes in because you’re facing the crowd ‘bare’. In the end, it wasn’t our best performance, but one that we would be proud of. The cheers at the end of our song… you just can’t help but think “Yays I did it.” Seeing the video of myself perform, so cringe-worthy omgosh… Seeing the facial expressions of the seniors, they were either really into their performances and for me, I looked totally blank and had the feel of “please don’t screw up, please don’t screw up jaebal”. It still boiled down to confidence and how much practice was put in. I really want to be able to present a more confident-self if I was given another chance, but since it’s my first time ever I’ll be contended with just surviving LOL.

You could say this is the start to many beautiful memories that I hope to make in university. It is heartwarming to know that instead of giving up on us, the seniors went all in with us and we were able to pull off the whole song, when it could have been easily dropped. It was no doubt an arduous journey, so is it worth another round? #kdtthrowback 2016? Quoting A, this was our first performance and it’ll just get better from here. We shall see hahaha 🙂

 

The Bass Family

The Bass Family

GENUS – #3weekstonextconcert

And with the end of Throwback, it was 6 weeks to Guitar Concert (and now 3 by the time this post comes out). As school resumed and weekly practices resumed, I started to settle down into GENUS. Things got slightly better as it was getting less awkward during practices when I got to know my section mates a bit more. However, with the difficulty of the piece and the high commitment levels, one by one, more juniors left or dropped out of concert. To be honest, I don’t blame these people, as people like me who have guitar ensemble background are struggling as well. Maybe I’m an anomaly since everyone else who was in guitar ensemble before well LOL. Okays I could have been easily one of those who dropped out as well, can you imagine the free time I suddenly I would have had now? To be honest, I have no idea why I stuck around, I blame it on my stubborn life principles that won’t allow me to quit something halfway unless necessary.

As reported in my earlier post, I was summoned to probation auditions. There were some seniors who were forced to go for auditions as well, but it was more for formality sake as these seniors came back from exchange and did not pass ‘attendance requirements’. The seniors who came back wasted no time with the new pieces and were able to play it fluently. The pace for probation auditions were much slower, but at that time I still struggled to hit all the notes. Miraculously I PASSED, and the normal practices resumed. I got requested to play the percussion for one of the songs, and percussion players have to come at 930am to practice… *vomits blood*. That makes my Saturday a 9-6 day *faints*, my point on why I continued on in this CCA remains a mystery.

Then there was the actual concert auditions. After the auditions, we were summoned and the thing they did to some of us juniors… it made me lose all respect to the cca to be honest. I don’t want to go into details, but it was just a fucking dirty ass move. All I can comment is that it could have been conducted in a much better method. The whole group dynamics wasn’t as good as I imagined. Cliques were inevitably formed, and the senior-junior hierarchy gap was obvious. Unlike KDT, these seniors outside CCA were still seniors and not someone who you could just hang out normally as a friend. especially when selection for EXCO were coming soon. I gave a straight 1 (1-10, with 1 being the least interested) for my interest in GENUS EXCO. I did consider taking it seriously because I stood a good chance given my background, but to be honest I had close to zero interest in it. Yes it would have looked good on my resume, but was it worth slogging a year in something you didn’t have passion in?

Again, I don’t have high expectations for audience turnout, I would be happy if ONE person came. Classical music is something I don’t expect many to appreciate, and I wouldn’t want to force my friends to sit through something they don’t enjoy. Ticket prices are also quite expensive, so much opportunity cost incurred just to support someone hor… For now it’s still the same: do the concert well and we’ll see from there.

 

Filming for Project XOXO!

Filming for Project XOXO!

NBC – Slavedriver Incoming

I really talked a lot for my 2 CCAs LOL. Technically,  I shouldn’t have much to talk about this since the actual camp is so far away. There were a few short meetings among the Publicity Committee to settle some camp matters. Business efficiency indeed, and it was the beginning of the slavedriven route.

My first major job for NBC was actually a side project called Project XOXO, which was a fundraiser by the Bizad Club for the Freshmen Orientation Projects (FOPs). Being the person-in-charge for videos, I was approached to film a series of videos to publicize the project. It was mostly me and my boss KE tanking the work, and yes shoutout to S for coming to help in terms of manpower. What I envisioned for the video is totally different from the end product, so I just go with the flow and did my best with whatever material I have. The first video is another thing in this semester which gave me hell; 4 hours of filming, plus more time spent filtering videos, and brainstorming to fit what the upper people wanted. I swear I spent a minimum of 15 hours to edit a freaking 2 min video, and not to mention that 3 of my Wednesdays (which is my free day btw) were burnt. And this was all midst the preparation for throwback. It really was just shag during that period: I would reach home at 12 midnight after dance practice and edit the videos till 4-5am. And again schoolwork was being ignored, it could have been far worse if not for KE helping to edit the entire 2nd video when it was supposedly my job. 고마워요 It really lightened the burden during that busy period.

No major screw ups during the whole filming process, although I believed it could have gone much smoother but all is well. It wasn’t my best work, but one which I’m satisfied with (If you’re interested in watching it, its the 3 part series called ONE, TWO, THREE on the Bizad YT page haha) It was my first time making a video and this was a reminder how time consuming it could be. What makes it heartwarming was that KE and Mr PD-nim acknowledged my hard work. Small actions like these really go a long way, trust me. 🙂 However, I feel like there is still a distance among all of us, the feel where we aren’t friends outside of work. Let’s just hope it gets better with time ay, I already have 2 days worth of dry runs during recess week #moretimeburnt

 

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And everything else…

It’s very clear that I have been ignoring my studies, and with how things seem now the situation may not improve. The modules this semester is just sian… shows how important having interest in whatever you’re going to study is. Seeing many people transferred course over the break made me rethink whether I made the correct decision of staying in Accountancy. I figured that I would still complaining about something if I did transfer to Maths and I didn’t have this thought until I was faced with the semester’s modules. As boring and sickening these modules are, I still have to do my best if I want to put myself in a good position for exchange. The goals for the semester hasn’t differ, just do my best and enjoy the whole student life.

It has becoming increasingly lonely in school these days, and it’s wide and clear that I have no part in my class. I was eternally busy with my external activities, but again if I really bothered about them I would have tried to make time, which I didn’t. I really went back to my own bubble, going somewhere else after lessons to be alone and strangely, I feel at zen not having anyone around me. That doesn’t mean that I have no friends alright, maybe I’m too selective when it comes to that. Whatever it is, I’m contended with how things are going now. Well of course things could have been much better, but quoting someone again: “In life, you’ll wish you made more mistakes.”. Y1S2 Round 2 let’s go!

 

And Taeyeon with black hair = totally love. Solo artist debut soon please Taengoo!

P.S. These few weeks have been emotionally draining for more than 1 reason that I haven’t mentioned. Don’t want to go into this just yet, but you… To think I waited till almost midnight just for you that day… 나 미치겠다… 헐~!

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NBC 2014: Camp Vindico (Day 4) – And we fight!

13 June 2014, 0200 hours… Or I might as well say it as Day 3.9, as we reach towards our last night in NBC. This would be a shorter post as Day 4 was sort of a half day and there was only one event for the day. So let’s go, as we continued previously on NBC 2014: Camp Vindico…

After the end of our SP night activities, Kratos gathered back together to prepare for the final event of the camp, Cheer Fight. Everyone had the shagged face, including the seniors as some of them had to stay in the haunted house rooms with their make-up on and act as ghosts for our games. In the middle  of our meals the days before, the seniors did mention about what this cheer fight was about and how they did it during their year. N was trying to inspire all of us to give it our best as it would feel good on our own part. So what is Cheer Fight? Yet another ala NUS Business Camp tradition, it’s where each OG prepares a combination of cheers which is usually the form of the skit and can be up to 5 minutes. May I present to you Exhibit A, the cheer:

 

This is the winner of NBC 2012 Cheer Fight, and you can tell that there’s a certain level of standard that you need to be if you want to win. The difficulty of the cheers wan’t that high, the part which really made an impact was how everyone was doing their part and shouting their heart out. If one person wasn’t on par with the rest of the group, it could be seen instantly and spoils the whole cheer. So will Kratos be able to emulate the same cheer? At the heat of the moment, where you just let loose yourself, no one knows so for now, let’s just come up with something and see how it goes. The problem is that no one could think of something unique since most of the cheers we were using throughout the camp are actually quite repeated, we have a small pool of cheers and all of them were short and simple, nothing impressive. Since our OG name is Kratos, we were also trying to come up with some cheers that are related to Kratos, the god of war. The seniors went to fetch our supper, yet again from Ameen’s and it was E’s treat, everyone just devoured the food and this first half an hour wasn’t very condusive as half of us were more focused on the food.  The seniors were all ears during our preparation and helped us take down whatever we were discussing. They also gave us some ideas and opinions on how we could improve on our cheers. I could tell that all 5 of them were freaking shagged and the panda eyes were showing, and C was already losing her voice but still went to find pi pa gao and strepsils for all of us. Gradually, we had quite a number of cheers in hand and the main issue was to link them together. As time flies, our cheer started to form and N started to get excited and thought that we had a decent chance to win if we executed our ideas well. Okay honestly, half of our cheers came from the seniors who had some really good ideas which was linked to our theme. It was just our linking from cheer to cheer which was bad as we were saying 3, 2, 1 and saying that really spoils the whole cheer (but I was too lazy to comment). C was diligently typing out everything on her phone and putting on whatsapp for all of us to read. We started to do our first few dry runs which didn’t went well as everyone was unsure of the sequence and some of the cheers. Given how lupsup our cheers have been during the whole camp, it’s no surprise that we had a few of them also as well in our cheers. So it was just more discussing and practicing and I lost track of time and just wanted to do our best and go back to sleep (Sleep is important kay!)

We did our last dry run at the LT which was empty and by the time we decided to call it a night (or day LOL), it was close to 6 am and we had to report to the LT at 8.30am. That left us with close to 2 hours of sleep only, and on the way back to hall I could see a few groups still preparing their cheers. I still had to pack up the room and my stuff, but I was too tired to do anything and the standard procrastinating me decided to just head to the bed and sleep. And within 2 hours I had to wake up, pack up everything and check out of the room. It was one of the worst sleep I ever had and I felt even more tired than before. Everyone had the dead look coming out of their rooms, and yet again we were late in reporting to the lecture theater hahas. I guess when it comes to planning, they really take into account of everyone being late already. We had a little bit of time before the actual cheer fight started so we did 2 dry runs outside the LT. When everyone is accounted for, the PD told us about their judging criteria and who the judges were, and we says all the OG names in a random generator website on the projector screen. The first few groups went up and they were quite impressive IMO. At that point of time I just wished that our turn never came and when it did, I just wanted to get it over and done with. I won’t go into details of the cheer and what we did for our cheer, but IMO we had the worst cheer lols. We had the idea, it’s just that it wasn’t entertaining nor it had the wow factor. After our cheer ended, there was this moment of silence which was fucking awkward until N started to cheer for us and everyone else in the LT followed. I was just glad it was over and afterwards we could just sit back, relax and enjoy the performances from the other OGs. Watching performance after performance, I was convinced that we were pretty awful. So tip for future incoming freshies for cheer fight: Be loud, be creative, be funny. Those 3 elements were imo what we lacked the most. Most importantly, I think everyone needs to be equally enthusiastic, from an audience’s POV it’s really obvious when you become a blur sotong or when your actions are smaller than the rest of your OG.

KRATOS!

KRATOS!

The results would be released during Finale Night, so we took our pictures and bid farewell for the time being. Shared a cab with E and M, and along our journey I found out that M, who was studying at Daehan, had the same teacher as me. What a coincidence!!! And it was finally home sweet home. Went for a shower, blasted the air con and I jumped straight onto my bed. Oh how much I missed you my comfortable bed! Set my alarm at 5pm because the OG was meeting up before that for dinner before going to Finale Night at Zouk, which started at 7pm. Off to my beauty sleep I went, and it’s time for finale night! NOTTTTTTTT. I FUCKING OVERSLEPT THE WHOLE FINALE NIGHT. no shit, when I woke up it was 9.30pm and final night ends at 10pm. I felt kinda bad because most of Kratos went for it and I just overslept, but it didn’t seem to matter anyways lol. CY also overslept but still met up with the group after the whole thing ended. For me, it was a hunt for food as I slept past dinner and after a later meal and chilling on the laptop, it’s bedtime again!! I really crashed and slept at least 12 hours after camp ended, the lack of sleep was that bad. I probably slept more that night than the 3 nights together. I seriously have no idea how people survive with that little amount of sleep in camps. Even on a normal day, sometimes 7 hours of sleep isn’t enough for me LOL, must be the magic adrenaline rush of camps. Okay since I missed it, there’s nothing to talk about, so the end? Most abrupt end to the string of posts ever LOL!

SHOUTOUTS!:

First of all, big shoutout to Kratos and my awesome OGLs/facilitators: N, C, CY, J and JT! The 5 of them really kept a constant look out for all of us freshies, ensuring that we all had water to drink and would help us fill up our bottles, bringing us snacks and getting us supper to ensure we never get hungry. All of them never complained once and stayed up with all of us without question every night. The behind-the-scene work they do is really a whole lot, from their dry runs to preparing our OG identities. It’s really a shame that this OG isn’t a close bunch and felt like the touch-and-go friends type (I will get more into details regarding this aspect in a future post), and the seniors were constantly emphasizing that the people we meet at NBC will turn out to be our friends in the long run, and sadly that wasn’t the case. It’s actually quite bad because I saw  some of them in school after camp and didn’t even bothered saying hi :(. And also, special shoutout to the really nice female facilitator from Legolas who was accompanying A during our SP games. I never got to know her name and all I know is that she was from CAPT (from the shirt she wears), she wasn’t the type which will make us go over the limits during our SP games and kept saying hi when she saw me in camp. She was like “Hi Running Man!” ^^, then I gave her the do I know you look LOL (forever paiseh >.<).  Her voice was quite recognizable and so I was like oh hello when I spot her but I never got to thank her :(. Nice seniors really make the difference among these camps!

CALLOUTS!: [for those who don’t know what is a callout, it’s just the opposite of a shoutout! (I normally don’t do this, but got this idea from Hotbid’s TI4 interviews)]

To all the *censored* idiots who think winning is everything, well I hope you will remember the fact that this is just a camp, all you get is pride and maybe a few prizes if you win. But what is the point of all these camps? To forge bonds and make friends! I believe I have mentioned some of these idiots in my previous posts, yeah lols *more censored words*. If I were to allow myself to keep ranting on these idiots, I’ll drop a couple of f-bombs and drag this already wordy post. Just please, if you want to win do it in a clean and proper fashion. Think twice before you want to risk injuring someone just to win, not long your poor victim has to go through being injured during the holidays, he/she also can’t continue on the camp. Is it that worth it? SAFETY FIRST PEOPLE!

KRATOS, THE GOD OR WAR~!

KRATOS, THE GOD OR WAR~!

FINAL THOUGHTS: [since this is written so lately, I’ll try to keep it exclusively to NBC itself]

My virgin university camp! I think what I feel regarding uni camps would be the same for almost every DHS student before; it was a freaking eye-opener. Business people are generally quite upz, and the guys in my groups are all generally the sporty type, so I found it extremely hard to connect with any of them well, sadly and when we do chat it ends up just being meaningless small talk. I’m still the same guy, the quiet introverted guy who really appreciates when someone initiates a conversation with me. I think I talked around the same duration to my SP as compared to all my OG mates for the whole camp, and I found my talk with my SP to be more meaningful. Perhaps partially because she was a kpop fan herself so yays to fellow fangirl! I was so much more reluctant to show my fanboy side so that I wouldn’t go off as some creep LOL! Just think of the difference when you talk about your concert experiences to one who appreciates and one who doesn’t; the response would definitely be very obvious (okay captain obvious strikes here HAH).  And also, really prepare to fall sick after camp because the lack of sleep is extreme. The sleep you get in camp for a few days equates to one night’s sleep on a normal day. So did I enjoy myself in camp? I consider myself to be quite an introverted guy, but still I did enjoy myself! I don’t enjoy all the constant interaction, and do wish at times I have my own myself time. But you can’t survive university without knowing anyone, that’s the ugly truth. It’s all about connections in university; the more people you know the more advantageous position you put yourself in. Because of this environment, many people change and I completely understand now why so many girls drift away when they are in university as I’ve seen it for myself how university life can be like. One thing I’m proud for myself that I didn’t let this environment change me completely to a tryhard, because why should I change for others? Okay I’m forever digressing when it comes to this kind of thing. tl;dr: omg uni totally new place, so not suited me. This is where I’m supposed to write something more positive, but ahhh I think I will keep digressign further if I was to do that, so I’ll leave it to another future post. Thank you NBC 2014 for the wonderful memories, and finally that’s a wrap for the posts regarding NBC. Next camp to cover, Union Camp 2014! (omg time to prepare to type out 10k more words T_T)

My first kill went a little like this, grab and twist, grab grab and twist, my first kill went a little like this, stab and twist, stab stab and twist. And we fight, FIGHTTTT, and we kill, KILLLLL, and we FIGHT KILL FIGHT KILL FIGHT KILL~!

 

 

 

Bonus picture – This was the gift that my SP gave me, omg super thoughtful >.<. I shall not give a Starbucks card ever again (Even though she used it well for a cake haha but still so malu…)

Thanks again A for the lovely mug! :D

Thanks again A for the lovely mug! 😀