It’s good to be alive! Life after A’s

It’s the new year, and for the first time in my 18 years, I do not need to go to school. Whew joy to the world! After being finally released (temporary) from the education system and given a load of free time, I really finally had the time to just relax, look at the ceiling (LOL) and have nothing to worry about. Most people I know have a job during the holidays, but I just choose to slack my remaining days off and really, REALLY, enjoy life to the max, and just do the many things I wanted and love to do when I didn’t have the time to do last year. During the 2 years in Senior High, most of my time was spent on “closet-mugging” and I didn’t really get to do much, maybe except during the holidays in Year 5 and the beginning of Year 5 where I just slacked too, but back then studies was still my top priority. One K-drama I could relate back to would be Scent Of A Woman, where the lead basically got only a few months to live and lived her life to the fullest after years of hardship. (ok you can’t say 2 years of SH life is exactly hardship, and I don’t literally have a few weeks to live, just using a metaphor).

It’s the new year, but basically nothing changes

After A’s, I have 3 months of free time to do all the stuff I wanted to do. Fortunately, I worked out the stuff I wanted to do before and during the A Level period, and I don’t necessarily have to complete my list before I head for enlistment, just enjoy the process while doing it. I previously wrote about going to MAMA and SNSD concert, which was basically the top 2 stuff I wanted to do Korean-related after the As. Actually going to either 1 of those would have been sufficient, but although the tickets were expensive, it was really fun to have gone all to those (no need for the details). I also wanted to go to Korea, but if I wanted to go Korea, I had to miss the SNSD concert. Any dumbass would have gone to Korea, but c’mon, going to a SNSD concert was literally a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see them perform all their songs. I saw them once live in MAMA already, but one song was definitely not enough :O. I don’t know if they would return to Singapore again, and even if they do, I could be stuck in the army. By the time I have enough money to go to Korea, they might have retired or gone inactive already. How could I say no? Well, maybe next time for Korea, since it’s going to be there forever and I would always have the chance to go there once I have the time and money. Heck, I could go there for an exchange program during university. There are many other opportunities out there, no point crying over one. Instead, I went to Taipei and did the same stuff again. Eat, shop, eat, visit relatives, eat, walk around, eat. I gained 3kg itself from the 1-week trip itself (mother of god), but it was nice to see my relatives in Taipei, which I didn’t see for close to 2 years. Went to see some distant relatives for the 1st time as well, which was kind of interesting because you are meeting people who are living in really different environments. The stronger family bond is evident, which is heartwarming to see, but we do have our similarities, such as our constant usage of our phones and my female cousins having a sweet tooth (just like my sis). I missed the year-end prom AND class trip to Thailand just for this trip, but no matter what, family comes first. I never really thought about how hard is it for my mom to be only able to her mom (which is my grandma) once every year or two, BASED on me and my sister’s schedule. If I can’t go to Korea, Taiwan would be the second best thing. I wanted to travel at least once outside of Singapore during the 3 month break, since Singapore to me is really a concrete jungle, and even the sunset is like a rare scene for me here.

me goofing around with my sis with one of our SUPER RARE zi pai attempts LOL

Other than attending Korean-related events, I also got to do many other stuff related to it. I watched tons of drama, some at a slow pace, but some at disgustingly fast speed (I finished Scent Of a Woman in 2 days and Protect The Boss in 3 days). After the new year arrived, I went back and continued learning Korean, which I stopped for a while during Year 5 in order to focus on studies. Most of my friends think I study Korean just for my love for SNSD, which is true ONLY to a certain extent (lol self-denial). I really like the Korean culture, which I learnt from Korean documentaries and dramas and there is many things about Korea which are intriguing and tend to be forgotten, from other genres of Korean music to the culture and even the food. This includes myself, who can’t seem to stop idolizing SNSD until it gets to the point of being annoying, but I would say I’m not so into K-pop and the Korean wave as compared to perhaps 2 years ago. I don’t go on Soshified everyday or listen to K-pop everyday lol. But still as I stated before, I would support those 9 girls all the way! Many tend to forget or don’t even know the hard work these idols put into their debut. Although I don’t like all the K-pop groups, I do have respect for all of them, given the years of dedication they put into their work and practice, along with the ability for them to survive the wrath of the many kinds of fans. Other than that, I do fan subs, which after going through the process itself, realize how tiring the process is. Dramas are much easier, but imagine a group of people talking to each other in a variety show, and not to mention the captions. But all of these I’m just taking it as an experience and take that I’m helping the community, as well as the subbing groups who 100% do it for the fans (unlike some which do for the fans)

9 angels ❤

Other than that, there are many things I’ve done. Sometimes, I would just sit down and play the guitar, while singing out songs at the balcony by myself. Although there isn’t a beautiful view or something (all I see is the PIE lol), it feels great with the silent night and night breeze blowing at you. I also do go exercise on a more regular basis, such as going to the gym or go for a run. Running around the Kembangan track really feels good, and it really helps you clear your mind and worries (things just feel so awesome when done at night). Having a healthy body really makes you feel good. You don’t really need to have a killer figure, just one which is healthy. I also started to read books, which kinda reminded me of my Primary School days which I read every single Roald Dahl book. Having school means I just couldn’t find the time to read books, but now I do haha. I always imagined myself to be at a Starbucks, sipping at hot coffee while reading a book, which I get to do now! Last year, I go there and study, while getting chased at times, but now no such thing happens! Enjoying the rich coffee smell, sitting on the dimly lit shop on a couch and just read a book. I should be out with a job and earning money, but I’ve been doing the opposite and blowing money instead, which makes me feel like a lazy pig. (writes note: must find job after NS)

Of course, I do go out with friends (I do not stay at home all day okay -_-). Like what Terence said, friends are REALLY important. When you have no one to turn to, you can always turn to your friends. It’s always nice to meet friends after school ended, from 4F to 24 to any one I’ve met during my 6 years in DHS. Although there was no 4F or 24 chalet (lazy me…), there were many outings between both class and guys that I went, and it’s just feels really good to just sit down, chill, relax and chat about stuff. I also (like 18 months haha) finally got to clear something off my head through HTHT haha, so it’s all good. Most of the guys are enlisting in like a few days, and I really wanted to spend more time with them, but all of us have to go serve our nation, sooner and later. During my break, I really got to spend good time together, from cocking around, going to the gym, eating together, talking to each other about life, and many other things. I would really miss the school times we spent together, and hopefully all of us can keep in touch (which I’m sure we would). Especially for someone like me which is incredibly shy, it’s really rare to find such great friends, and I feel fortunate to have such friends and could not have asked for better. This reminded me of Tiffany, whom I respect a lot for being so mentally strong, despite her mom passing way when she was at a young age.

Mom, you left this world before I have, but you gave me 8 sisters.

*bows back*

In all, there are many other things that I wanted to do (really learn drumming, travelling around, jamming with the guys, etc.), but I’m already satisfied. You always take things for granted, even to the simplest stuff such as having a house to live in, or to have both of your parents etc. Nearly every year, as I look back, I really feel like I’ve grown a lot and matured. Let’s hope this trend goes on and I can improve on myself and become a better person in the future!

Hoping the year 2012 would be a good one for all! And it’s good to be alive~

P.S. I got my inspiration to write this long, long note from 艾莉絲, whom recently got married. Randomly hopped on her blog and got the inspiration from there haha. Time really flies, 2 years ago I was watching her hosting tian cai chong chong chong and now she’s married >.<

glad she got her perfect wedding haha

Mind Over Body

Quickly taking the chance to type out something before I run out of ideas :O

End of Week 8, 2 more weeks to GP Prelims, 4 more weeks to Prelims. Time flies REALLY, REALLY fast, and I’m not even 50% prepared. Honestly, I feel myself burning out already even though I didn’t really do much. I really hate school and starting to lose my motivation, a really long study break would be awesome. Hopefully, I can get my drive back because this is seriously the most important 3 months remaining in my 12 years in education. It’s the final lap of the long marathon, just gotta believe that I can do it, and as always, put in the constant effort and make my dreams turn in reality.

Another thing to take note this A’s is not a competition with others, it’s ultimately the battle against you and yourself. I always like to relate back to the classic analogy of brick walls, it’s there to show how badly you want it. There’s no shortcut in overcoming that brick wall, just hard work. I really, really want to own those people right in front of their faces. But of course, the main motivation should be fueled by something more happy instead of anger. I always remind myself not to compare myself and limit my growth. Other than that, I should not care about the results of others. I see myself being bottom 10% of the cohort into jumping into the top 30% of the cohort this year. If I can do amazing things like this, then I really have no idea what my limit is, and all I can do is just push myself, with the exception of burning myself out. Maybe it’s time to hit back at Starbucks and perharps pon a few schooldays :O

The last thing I would want to cover is my slacking, which is really going from bad to worse. One word: FOCUS. Ahhh, shit I’m seriously dropping into the mentality that I cannot study consecutive hours like before due to school and other lousy excuses, but hopefully again I would like to build my groove which I have been losing due to this fucked up thing called school. Lol I seriously hate school and it’s really becoming a waste of time, of course with a few exceptions such as the excellent Mr.Ng and Mr. Chang. It’s again a battle against myself, and really controlling myself from the external events and distractions. Concentrate, relax and also enjoy the ride. I found myself repeating again, and again, and I’m really running out of words haha.

Tried to keep this post short and sweet, other than that, all the best to myself HAHA. Hwaiting!

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish – Steve Jobs @ Stanford 2005

Although I’m not really a fan of Apple products, you gotta admit that Steve Jobs is one of the most amazing person in the world. His talk in Stanford was only 20 minutes long, but it has taught me a lot about life. The other talk which has inspired me a lot is probably Randy Pausch’s “The Last Lecture”.

I won’t go through the details of the talk, but more of the lessons that I learnt after listening to the talk. Steve Jobs to me is a perfect example of a zero-to-hero. Dropped out of college, created and built up a company of net worth $2 billion dollars, got kicked out of his own company, didn’t give up and came back and Steve Job’s current wealth is probably higher than most countries’ GDP. One thing that struck me hard is the fact that he got kicked out Apple. How do you get kicked out of your own company. You took years to go to the top, and in a flash, it’s all gone and you’re rock bottom again. However, Steve Jobs came back stronger than before, and maybe these incidents are blessings in disguise.

It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.

Nowadays, I’m getting affected by the small troubles in life, and we must realise that life never is a smooth journey. If it is, then what’s the point of it? You’re just stagnant there and unable to improve yourself. I always tell myself that you can only taste success after failure, and when you fail, you need to learn from it. I probably discussed about failure millions of time, and the most important thing is to pick yourself up after failure. And who knows? Failure can be the “one of the best things that ever happened”.

Another thing I learnt about, which Steve Jobs didn’t really cover much, but I really like, is about how you live your life. Our time is limited, so why waste it thinking about irrelevant stuff? Live your OWN life, do what you want and like to do. You only got a chance at life, so don’t limit yourself by boundaries. Live how you want to, and don’t be trapped by other’s thinking. I suppose other people’s opinions may bother you, but who cares? As long as you are happy, everything would be fine. Don’t sacrifice your own happiness for others, it’s not worth it. Sometimes, you just gotta trust that the future would be alright if you are living your life the right way. Here is one of the quotes from Randy Pausch:

It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.

The last one I learnt is achieving your dreams. Put your words into action is another principle I would always tell myself. You only get to live your life once, so spend it well. For Steve Jobs, he dropped out of college and never looked back. That is what I really admire, the quality where he had absolutely no regrets. In life, you need to do everything the best, so that there will be never any regrets. If you have something you really want, translate that into your actions and try your best and have no regrets. Don’t ever compare yourself to others because it’s your best, and that is what matters the most.

I felt like I’m typing a transcript of my own speech, haha. I will follow this up with a reflection of my Term 1 in JC2. Until then, stay hungry, stay foolish.

Live Your Life

Last post: 2010 resolutions, edited on 03/01/2010

This wordpress is dead, dead, dead, and there are still people viewing this? Thanks to all those who still view this shitty blog of mines. Most people are probably using tumblr now, but I’ll stick to WordPress. I’ll try to revive this blog by adding a few more inspirational stories kinda thing.

Why the sudden revival and not let it die? Well, one of the main motivations of reviving this blog is due to school. School? You gotta be kidding me. Not. I’ve been failing GP, so maybe writing a few ‘essays’ will help, even though it will never come out in A levels, like I said before, I want something to reflect on. Life has been in chaos, I’m tired, I’m bushed, sum in up in two words, fucked up. So a portal for me to channel my thought would be extremely useful now for me.

Now I see my mom spending 12 hours on FaceBook and I wrote a wall post for her. Guess what, she deleted me as a friend. lol? Now given a little time to reflect, it’s her fucked up life she’s living, not mine’s. She’s the one wasting her life on the computer, not me, why should I care? Only problem is that she’s hogging the computer and I can smell my dad’s overheating computer already. If she doesn’t want help, fine be it. I get scolded for helping my mom. That’s a first, and now come to think of it, I fucking miss my dad. It’s true, although we spend so little time together, it is all those small moments that counts. Hope you’re doing well overseas appa (dad in korean), sarangheyo (love you in korean)

This made me also reflect on my addiction on games, particularly one game called MapleStory, and if you ask me to rewind back 4 years and ask if I would play maple. I would, cause you can’t learn without failing. One by one, every 1 of us quitted maple, due to our busy lives already. When I stopped playing maple, I suddenly found so much time to do more stuff. These are life lessons which will affect you for the rest of your lives. Trust me, in just 3 years in Dunman High, I learnt so many life lessons which I wouldn’t have learn elsewhere.

So what now for Guardian? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. It’s just 4 months to Senior High, better late never, from now on, I’m going to live life to how I want to live it, and no-one is going to change it. Even as I’m typing this post, I’m getting happier already, because hopefully I’ll change for the better. Ironically, it took a few words of my Geography teacher to make me realise that. Man, I’m really fucked up.

I’ll end this post with one of my current ‘addictions’, *obvious right?* and what makes their performances so nice to watch? Practise, practise, practise, sprinkled in with some hardwork and determination. Some of them took 7 years of training just to debut, and they are referred as idol groups since many fans support them. Idol in another sense means someone to look upon, so maybe this will inspire me to do well when I see their performances. 9 days to guitar concert, focus nick focus you fag 😡

“Change is a welcomed friend…but only if it is invited.”
– Shane Pendley

I’m laying down the red carpet down already baby.

Sometimes your best isn’t good enough

Just back home from DHS MUN, cabbed with boony to kembangan and took the bus home, can say it is a fucking waste 4 hours of life. What did I learn in this 4 hours? Nothing. Zilch, but made me think about this blog post, haven’t posted since the beginning of this month, and I always wanted to do a post for this month, so here goes…

Was sick (and still sick) this week, had a fever bla bla, and I was suppose to use this period to catch up with my work, turns out I used more time trying to recover and had only a day for revision. Lately, life’s starting to get a bore and it seems to have only the letters EOY in it, so life has lost some meaning if it is only involved about EOYs, but it seems to be true. Had all the time in the UN to think about it, since we wasted 4 hours, 1 hour more than expected, and in the end we didn’t come up with a resolution. If we were in a real UN, the whole world would be screwed.

Yah so above title, sometimes your best isn’t good enough. I’m tired of people complaining when they get a mark which they wanted a higher mark in a test and complain, “Walao, I tried my best.” Well face the fucked up world, sometimes your best isn’t good enough. When Tyson Gay ran 9.71s, it was his personal best, but Usain Bolt got 9.58s, so if others can do it, why can’t you? No point crying over spilt milk. And I SERIOUSLY FUCKING HATE IT when people can’t keep their mouth shuts after test. The test is over, finished, period. Curse you all to fail and see if you guys still want discuss or not =.= Remembered a talk from Mr. Teo during assesembly *wow i remembered* and he showed us a video of Kobe Bryant and some stuff about himself. was really interesting listening to him. Anyway, I believe that in the 100% you put, you still have gas for an extra 10%, and that is the difference between us and champions. What made Usian Bolt the champion he is now? Pure work and dedication. 3 years ago, he was a nobody in the 100m race, now he hasn’t lost a race for a year. Pretty slick if you ask me.

Usian Bolt = imba

Time flies in Year 4. Next week is the end of Term 3, and here comes the holidays! The holidays won’t feel like it anyway, and I need to format the videos in my iTouch, most of the videos are getting old, but they are still the best, still lazy to jailbreak. I’m gonna watch my 命中注定我愛你 at 10pm. LOL

I’m better off living in TW

My whole world feels like it’s falling apart

Yup. The past few days school has been a living hell (and has always been), nothing has gone right, failed Chem CT, will do miserably for Maths Quiz, most probably will fail Chinese. Right now, I just hope that everyone just gives me a break.

So I was sick on Friday, had a fever and still recovering from it. Then on Friday, it seemed that every teacher had their shotgun aimed at me, Ms Tan the Chem Teacher asked me to sit infront and expects me ‘to concentrate more’, and when she asked me a question, I read the whole correct explaination and she expects me to just read out the keywords. Lol I fail Chemistry = must sit infront? There are at least 10 other people who also failed and I don’t see you sitting infront. Hoho. Maths Quiz, wasn’t feeling well and just wanted to sleep, mind just went blank, so I will expect myself to fail that one. Mr Yeo the Maths Teacher had to use his freaking fan and wack my back a few times and I would have vommited my recess if he had wacked me a few more times. Then Geog, Mr Yap told me I lack focus, true, but how can I focus when I have a fever. =.=”

Really bad mood these days, at the beggining I would like to get a couple steps ahead in life. Now it seems like whenever I get 3 steps ahead, the road crumbles and I get knocked back down 10 steps. My confidence is at a low now, when people online ask me ‘How’s Life’, I would just reply “ok lol”, life is an ass, and I believe on the fact that life can’t be smooth all the time, it’s just how you see it. Been slacking this weekends, watching TV and playing my PSP, just dread going back to school tommorrow.

Yup. Life’s a fucking bitch.

If you could live your life one more time


If you could turn back time, live your life again. What would you do?

During December last year at Taiwan, me and my dad met this 30+ guy who was working as a cameraman, and had 1 year left from graduating from medical school and getting a degree. He seemed like a great guy, had a kid and a wife already. When my dad was having a chat with him, he asked if he could redo college, would he take another subject.

With no hesitation, he said, “Of Course!”. My dad asked what course would he take, he promptly replied, “To tell you the truth, I would take a medical course.”

His wife said, “When you were 21, why did you give up being a doctor?”

He replied, “At that time, I wasn’t sure if I could finish. The lessons were so long and boring, and a waste of money. I was just thinking of graduating early, start to look for a job, and have a happy family.”

He then carried on with his ending, “My wife asked me that now I have a job, earning moneyand savings, have already a child and a marriage, why not trying to be a doctor? At that point of time, I was speechless, I just wanted to accomplish my childhood dream, at the end I decided to finish studying my course. Now I have 1 year left in my course, my results are good, and I have nothing to worry about the fees, best of all, I have my wife’s support. My life now never felt any better more!”

If you believe you can do it… most likely you can.
If you believe you can’t do it… you can never do it.

Goodbye 2008. What 2008 has taught me.


Never had the time to this. Just something I thought I would do to recap my Year 2008.

January, the start of 2008.
New class, new year, oh brother…
I always hated the new year, means new things to do, new stuff, most importantly, end of holidays and star of another gruelling 40 weeks of school.
Everyday just trying to stand strong, but school is just sucky at the beginning…
Don’t get me wrong, I love 3F 08, just had a rough start
You can’t get a perfect start always. Brick walls are there for a reason

March, the beginning
Started to blend with my new class, less niao-ing lol. haha
Wasn’t really struggling with tests or homework, it was still ok.
1st term is over. *phew*
Learnt how to play dota, tio owned at the beginning =.=” zzz
Didn’t even touch maple, too busy or just too lazy?
Every new beginning comes from some other ending, from a small beginning come great things

May, the journey
Started to play basketball with my class, was soooooo noob back then (now still noob. lol)
Studies was still ok, managed to get a 2.93 GPA
Private servers are so fun and it’s free. Screw A$ia$oft
Level camp was fun, playing bridge, taitee, blackjack, mahjong, learnt new games like 100 (Mr Yap teach de), sabotaging each other was fun (and when it fails you can go LOL at him)
It’s good to have an end to the journey, but it’s the journey that matters

September, the struggle
Started to slack off a bit, stared to fail all maths and sciences test
Skipped CCA like nothing, even if I went I also slacked inside
Then at the end, just started to chiong like shit for EOYs
Everday weekend, going to Starbucks and blowing $7 for a frap, studying from morning to evening
At this rate, I didn’t get enough sleep, just slept and slacked during classes.
But I can’t give up…
What the struggle, continue the climb. Take it one step at a time, no matter how tough the climb will be.

November, the end of a journey
Flunked EOYs, got a GPA of 2.20. Had to stay back 2 weeks for extra remedial lessons. Lol I deserved it =.=
Had fun during the chalet, watching movies, the MTG tournament, playing mahjong, trying to get the volleyball on the roof by building a structure of tables and pilows.
Went to Taiwan for a while, great to see my grandma and grandpa, had some fun with my niece and nephew, went to 101 and had some great food. I kept brushing off being take pictures of (don’t know how to phrase it), now nothing to remember the great views. DAMN x3!
Com was down, was very bored, went out for a couple of times. That was it. Quite a boring 2008 holiday for me.
And me, I just offically got 1 year older, felt birthdays were quite a bore, had a smally party at Orchard. (Thanks guys, you all were awesome!)
There are things that we never want to let go of, but letting go isn’t the end, it’s just a new beginning.

That was my 2008, it felt quite short compared to others.
365 days of growing up day by day, may well pay off in 2009
2008 changed me a lot in a lot of ways. 給了我另一種面對人生的姿態.
No point crying over spilled milk anyway =D

You just have to decide if you’re a Tigger or an Eeyore
tigger and eeyore
Eeyore is pessimistic, depressed, and deflated. He has no self-confidence and doesn’t think he does anything right. On the other hand, Tigger is energetic, joyful, enthusiastic, and positive. All a Tigger wants to do is have fun. You decide who you want to be.