Only One Way – Up

“Always relax. If you are chilled and relaxed no one and nothing out there will ever disturb you, let it be distractions, worries, mistakes or just silly moments. When you are not relaxed you are just like a ticking time bomb; a dynamite waiting to go off, so get out and love your life no matter how much shit is going on, calm down because panicking is not going to get it better.”

Just a reminder to tell myself to keep calm in the midst of all the stress, and yes le me thought of the above quote HAHAHA. Another quick post because I am totally in no mood to some studying LOL. 4 papers down, 1 more to go. I won’t go on how I fucked up each module haha.  To be honest, I felt like I could have done so much better for my finals, maybe that’s why I feel so disappointed and at the same time frustrated at myself. And this was supposedly the easier basket; can’t imagine myself in Biz Comm and Marketing next semester. I really want to write and share something happy here, but its more and more negative posts being written here. And here I am, telling all of my friends to be more optimistic and inject some positivity in their lives when I am not doing so myself. It’s really true that we always see the negative sides of things. When a kid gets 99 marks for his test, nowadays people only take note of the 1 mark where the kid lost. New motto included into my list: Always look on the bright side of life.

Me & my cheat sheet! (forgive the eye bags T.T)

Me & my cheat sheet! (forgive the eye bags T.T)

It really felt like desperation mode as the finals approached. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, especially when I gave myself a heads up to start revision. I only started doing my summary notes 1 week before finals when it was supposed to be done months ago. I was still unclear of basic concepts and only figuring them out as the finals approach. I finished my cheat sheet for my GEM 1 hour before the actual paper; really living on an edge with my current work ethics. I was very tempted to just caffeinate myself everyday and burn the midnight oil to cover my work, but in the end I didn’t want to spoil my body just for the sake of studying. I studied way harder back during As; I blame technology for being unproductive LOL. Maybe I should just leave my phone at home when I go outside to mug. I seriously, jinjja really need to take a good look at my style of mugging because my current style is far from good. Still, shout out to all my study buddies over the past 2 weeks who made the studying more tolerable! 😀

The most important takeaway I got from university so far is that I am much more than my CAP. In some sense, I feel like there is a small streak in color in my university life; the same streak of color I wished I had back during my secondary school days. I would say the best takeaway from Dunman High was the 4F guys, and I’m starting to wonder if there would be one from university. But forever DEJA VU I swear, as I am starting to shut myself out from the class, kind of like what I did in 24. I start to realize that I am of different frequencies from most of them, partially because this is self-induced since I’m not even trying. Aside from S, JQ, L and maybe JY plus MW, I can dare say I spoke less than 10 sentences (other than work) to the rest of the people in my class. That’s how pathetic of a situation I am in LOL. I only came to this realization when I went to 2 of my fellow classmates’ birthday celebrations. The same group of people which I thought I was closest to from all the camps that I attended, now seem like a distance away. That single outing probably put a confirmation stamp on how I hate to be in large groups. You could call it a phobia though; and the list of insecurities goes on. Maybe I need to do a shuffle of priorities and goals too, as well as some deep self-reflection on what I really want from the 3/4 years I spent here in NUS. Hahas forgive me please from the emo-ing, I was really hurt when the class celebrated several birthdays this month, all except for mines :(((, and the words from a particular someone didn’t help at all. HAIYO NEGATIVITE THOUGHTS SHOOOO GO AWAY, let’s move on.

Expect a reflection post, and also standard new year resolutions post soon enough. (I’m glad I am posting here more often!) In addition also some proper classification for my posts! Given how many posts are being backlogged, I don’t think I will do any travel posts regarding my trip to Korea back in May :(. I’ll probably condense O’week to a post or two, and for Union Camp, I’ll wrap up the last 2 days together. Last paper on Saturday, Korea in a week. Here’s to the happiness in December as the year 2014 comes to a close. Again the title of the post is a reference to a song yet again hahas, I really need to think of more original titles.

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P.S. I think Tiffany is slowly creeping up my bias list HAHA. I only recently found out this cover and omg love love love <3! *fanboys*

So don’t you worry, baby you got me
I got a bad boy, I must admit it
You got my heart, don’t know how you did it
And I don’t care who sees it babe
I don’t want to hide the way I feel when you’re next to me

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To infinity and beyond

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Just a quick update before I’m off to biz camp tomorrow! (another post 1 day before leaving home LOL) It has been a little more than 2 weeks since I came back from Korea, so I’ll just cover what has been happening during this short down period. I won’t talk about Korea here since it deserves a post of its own and I have too much to talk about Korea. In short, it was an awesome experience to be able to go to somewhere you always wanted to; and you might say it’s a dream come true. ^^ I really wished that I would have more time to spend there and there are so many places that I would have loved to go but sadly didn’t have time to go.

waiting for the horn!

waiting for the horn!

The big event for me last weekend, Sundown Marathon 2014! Since I went for last year’s sundown, it was a natural yes for me to go for this run again given the lower price I had to pay. I was thinking that after ORD, I would have a lot of time to train up well for this run so without hesitation I signed up. HOWEVER, nothing went as planned and with work commitments, as well as me just being plain lazy, I didn’t prepare well at all for the run. Also with the Korea trip, I was left with about a week and a half for final runs, which I only did short distance runs. At least my condition was much better than Standard Chartered last year. My mother and sister helped me collect my race pack and bought my energy bars + gels as collection date was during my Korea trip. Prepared my gear the day before and did the usual carb-loading regime as well as drinking plenty of water (which lead to many toilet trips at the night LOL)

Onto the run itself, the standard protocol before any of my runs kicked in, nothing really out of the ordinary. I was close to the front of the 2nd wave, and the 5:30 pacers were at the head of the pack (which is around 7:50/km pace). It was slightly faster than my normal pace, but I figured I needed to be slightly faster at the start to cover more distance. I could only keep that pace for around 8km, and I didn’t want to push myself too hard so I slowed down a little. As I covered more distance, my speed became slower as I wanted to go as far as possible before I hit my “tipping point”. I’m not sure about the exact term, but basically it means how far I can run without stopping. I really didn’t want to stop as momentum is really important in a marathon. As I reached the half-way point, I was more of slow jogging as my legs started to hurt really bad. I finally hit my tipping point at around the 26km point, and after that it was a mixture of jogging and walking, along with some stretching for the legs. I must say the energy gels really work well, but I had trouble tearing open the gels and had to resort to using my teeth LOL. Saw J during the last 5km, and we chatted while walking towards the end. He was also in a similar situation as me, where work really hindered his training for the event. Finished it with a timing of 6:20, and although it’s quite a horrible timing, I am just happy to finish it and it was an okay timing given the little build up I had. The route was slightly different from what I recalled last year, it was not the standard route so a little variation is always welcomed. The only complaint I have would be that a part of the route is pitch black and the only light source were light sticks on the floor. I was supposed to meet the army guys for lunch at Old Airport Road, but my legs were hurting too much, my groin abrasion was pretty bad and I was drop dead tired. As with any marathon, I had trouble moving around everywhere and was permanently stuck on the bed. Fortunately I took off for the following Monday and Tuesday so I had time for my whole body to recover and that’s how my second run of the year went! Will I go for any more runs for 2014? Definitely yes, but maybe not a marathon. It all depends on how much time I have to train when university starts, and I really want to be still running regularly so we will see how it goes!

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Everland!

After returning from Korea, I really had close to zero desire to work. Although I told myself that I would not stay at home and rot, there’s really no point me wasting my time there just for some pocket money. Yes it would surely be nice to earn some money by myself and not have to rely on my parents, who are already going to pay for my university fees. It would be nice if I can get more students for tuition, but I shall not be too greedy and work with what I have. I do have many things in my mind that I would love to do if I have the time: such as going for more regular runs, studying Korean, reading the books that I bought, updating this WordPress and also write about my adventures in Korea (yes so many other drafts too, so many things in my head that I want to write about). Can’t wait for the week to end already, I somehow feel time-constrained now LOL. What an ironic statement given that it’s supposed to be a long break for me now. I foresee myself quitting this job soon, so I must really tell myself to make good use of my last remaining holiday before I officially become an university student. Even if I’m going to slack, must slack till shiok haha!!

NUS Business Camp… I didn’t really care if I was selected or not. As the days pass by, I actually started to feel relieved that perhaps, I wasn’t selected and I didn’t need to waste my time and money there. Fortunately, L told me that the confirmation email could have landed in the junk mail because that was what happened to his. I got onto my phone and checked my junk mail, adverts… more weird adverts… NUS Business Camp 2014: Congratulations! You have been offered a place in the NUS Business Camp 2014! To be honest, I didn’t felt anything, it’s just like oh okays noted moment. I was contemplating whether to just totally ignore the mail LOL. After talking to friends and giving it some thought, I decided to go for it and confirmed my attendance. Supposedly for every person they accepted, they had to reject 2 other people so I seriously had no idea how or why I got chosen. L and my army BSO got chosen, while J, YS and T didn’t make it. They say it’s a privilege to be chosen, so let’s see how my first taste of university is like.

There was a pre-camp briefing on Saturday morning at NUS. Ever since Sundown, my body clock has been screwed pretty badly. I have been sleeping at 5am and waking up past noon recently, and it was so hard to wake up that early. I was 30 minutes late but the whole thing started late so I didn’t miss much. Got to know my camp group, Kratos as well as my OGLs/facilitators, and I’m so glad that the facilitators in my group is not the super crazy enthusiastic type. I would probably go crazy if you ask me to scream, cheer and run for every single moment in the camp. Had a short camp briefing, did some ice breaker games. And I learnt what the 7 wonders game was… LOL! (for those who don’t know, you’ll figure it out what it is soon haha) I lost during wacko, to no surprise since I have been always been bad with remembering new names and faces. Did that forfeit with my facilitator, a little awkward doing something like that with someone you just met on the first day LOL. These kind of activities are probably going to be worse during the camp itself =.=”. Anyway nothing much for that day, it’s just a pre-camp after all. Not really feeling the hype yet… and it’s not like I’m really looking forward to the camp. Maybe I’m being too pessimistic, it’s a camp where I am supposed to be having a good time. Remember the New Year’s resolution I wrote at the beginning of the year? It’s time to actually try and follow through with them. Shall just head in with an open mind and also less negativity. Will definitely write a post about it, so stay tuned haha!

And that’s all for now! Got to go get ready for camp, omg need to report to NUS tomorrow at 8am. I’m prepared for another sleepless week ahead so please Nick, get rid of all those negativity and enjoy the camp! No pressure to impress, just be myself and stick to my own principles. (but also don’t be too stubborn >.<)

Song for the month, Akmu’s songs really stick to you 🙂

 

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Second and third time’s a charm

This is going to be a quick one regarding the stuff which has happened to me during the end of year, mainly regarding my 2nd 10km run and my 3rd time seeing SNSD performing live. Yet another 1 of those posts which I have dragged for quite a while, but I thought it would be a little abrupt to suddenly review my whole year without covering these activities, and the 2 mentioned activities were what I were looking forward to end the year on a high note. Throughout this whole year, I would have loved to posted more here (not only regarding my life, much more broader topics), but I can only do this much with the time I have. So by chronological order, I would cover SMTown Singapore 2012, followed by the Standard Chartered Marathon 2012.

 

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The 9 Angels ❤

 

(Warning: Fanboy post ahead >.<) When I heard SMTown was coming to Singapore, immediately the fanboy in me burst out and I was like: “OMGOMGOMG must go!”. But as time passes, there were several factors which made it tricky if I could attend the concert. The main problem was cost, along with the problem that it was held on a Friday night so I may not be able to book out to catch the concert in time. When thinking through about my decision, SMTown is like the SNSD concert last year, I would never know if I would get another chance to experience an SMTown concert again, so what the heck, YOLO 1 more chance to see the 9 angels live!! Fortunately, my army schedule now is very flexible and not unpredictable so I took half day-off to make sure I would get to the place on time. Another factor which made me decide to go to SMTown is that it was held at the outdoor Marina Platform, which would bring a new experience in watching a concert. It’s also the same place where I passed out from BMT 4 months ago, and it was part of the running route next week for Standard Chartered at that point of time, so the place holds a small place in my heart since many things has happened to me on that platform. Moving on to the concert, although I was a SONE, I really enjoyed most of the other songs which the other SM groups performed (but of course I still cheered the loudest during any SNSD songs). Although you see the many different fan groups supporting their respective bias, the Shawols, the ELFs, the Cassiopeias, seing all the different fan lights waving around the stage, all of us enjoyed the songs belted out by every single artist that day. It’s no wonder people say that music is a universal language, and during the day itself, I could feel the chills down the body as I enjoyed song after song. The atmosphere was so high that all the people camping at the Helix Bridge could feel it around the concert. I never expected myself grooving to the beat of Sorry Sorry and Mirotic, screaming out the fan chants as well. Of course I would have loved to see SNSD sing more songs, but 4 hours of concert was well enough. And yes, the 9 girls were ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!! Everytime SNSD comes out to perform a song, I go into full SONE mode and cheer my lungs out and when it goes back to other artists, I go back to my seat and just enjoy the song, okay I’m too biased haha… Braving through the rain and stomache (never spam cookhouse food bleh…), it was an awesome experience and the day after, the feelings of the concert withdrawal crept in again. Not forgetting the fact that I got to hear Tiffany say “SINGAPORE, PUT IT BACK ON!”. Imagine the fanboy in exploding when I heard Tiffany say that, I probably screamed more throughout the concert than my sister. C’mon 2013, I need a SNSD concert pleaseeeeeeee!!

 

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My target next year!

 

Now to the Standard Chartered Marathon 2012 a week after… Originally I missed the registration and was going to give it a miss, but coincidentally my sister had to pull out of the run since during the period my family was flying to Taiwan, so I took her place instead in the run. As compared to the previous run, I did close to zero specific training for the event, other than 3 10km runs and 5km live runs every Tuesday and Thursday in camp. For this run, I was better equipped since I ran before 10km so I knew what to do and not to do. On the day itself, it felt quite cool to board an MRT train full of runners who are all gearing up for the run later. Being such an big event, the atmosphere was there and the run was enjoyable despite the large crowd hogging the start point. Although there was a considerable number of people who were ahead of me, there were even more behind me just walking the whole run (not sure if they were just enjoying the run or just lazy…). It was a enjoyable run since the location was central and I got to run pass the Marina Platform (yet again!), and there were many supporters whom cheered on, which spurred me on at times of tiredness. Although I ran only 1 minute faster than my previous run a fews week back, the run felt much better as I paced myself better even though I could feel that my body wasn’t really up to the task during the day itself. After the run, I rewarded myself with a filling MOS Burger meal and returned home in my Spiritus T-shirt and FBT shorts (which brings out the most of my long legs HAHA :P). So that was my last run in 2012, with many more to go in 2013. Got 1 10km run at NUS in around 2 weeks, can’t wait! I would be going for 1 or 2 more 10km runs before trying a half-marathon and ultimately a full marathon. Target for NUS run: <55 mins!!

And so how I spent my last days of 2012? Rotting my days in camp, meeting and feasting with my friends, went to my batch’s SCS POP, some reflection and rethinking of what has happened to me for this year, and a whole lot of slacking in front of my computer watching random videos on YouTube during block leave. To wrap it all up, the apocalypse didn’t happen!!! So I didn’t die young and there’s still much to do with the years ahead of me. Not to mention that I’m finally getting my SNSD comeback! 3 MORE DARS RAWR!!!

 

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seohyun saranghae~~~

It’s good to be alive! Life after A’s

It’s the new year, and for the first time in my 18 years, I do not need to go to school. Whew joy to the world! After being finally released (temporary) from the education system and given a load of free time, I really finally had the time to just relax, look at the ceiling (LOL) and have nothing to worry about. Most people I know have a job during the holidays, but I just choose to slack my remaining days off and really, REALLY, enjoy life to the max, and just do the many things I wanted and love to do when I didn’t have the time to do last year. During the 2 years in Senior High, most of my time was spent on “closet-mugging” and I didn’t really get to do much, maybe except during the holidays in Year 5 and the beginning of Year 5 where I just slacked too, but back then studies was still my top priority. One K-drama I could relate back to would be Scent Of A Woman, where the lead basically got only a few months to live and lived her life to the fullest after years of hardship. (ok you can’t say 2 years of SH life is exactly hardship, and I don’t literally have a few weeks to live, just using a metaphor).


It’s the new year, but basically nothing changes

After A’s, I have 3 months of free time to do all the stuff I wanted to do. Fortunately, I worked out the stuff I wanted to do before and during the A Level period, and I don’t necessarily have to complete my list before I head for enlistment, just enjoy the process while doing it. I previously wrote about going to MAMA and SNSD concert, which was basically the top 2 stuff I wanted to do Korean-related after the As. Actually going to either 1 of those would have been sufficient, but although the tickets were expensive, it was really fun to have gone all to those (no need for the details). I also wanted to go to Korea, but if I wanted to go Korea, I had to miss the SNSD concert. Any dumbass would have gone to Korea, but c’mon, going to a SNSD concert was literally a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see them perform all their songs. I saw them once live in MAMA already, but one song was definitely not enough :O. I don’t know if they would return to Singapore again, and even if they do, I could be stuck in the army. By the time I have enough money to go to Korea, they might have retired or gone inactive already. How could I say no? Well, maybe next time for Korea, since it’s going to be there forever and I would always have the chance to go there once I have the time and money. Heck, I could go there for an exchange program during university. There are many other opportunities out there, no point crying over one. Instead, I went to Taipei and did the same stuff again. Eat, shop, eat, visit relatives, eat, walk around, eat. I gained 3kg itself from the 1-week trip itself (mother of god), but it was nice to see my relatives in Taipei, which I didn’t see for close to 2 years. Went to see some distant relatives for the 1st time as well, which was kind of interesting because you are meeting people who are living in really different environments. The stronger family bond is evident, which is heartwarming to see, but we do have our similarities, such as our constant usage of our phones and my female cousins having a sweet tooth (just like my sis). I missed the year-end prom AND class trip to Thailand just for this trip, but no matter what, family comes first. I never really thought about how hard is it for my mom to be only able to her mom (which is my grandma) once every year or two, BASED on me and my sister’s schedule. If I can’t go to Korea, Taiwan would be the second best thing. I wanted to travel at least once outside of Singapore during the 3 month break, since Singapore to me is really a concrete jungle, and even the sunset is like a rare scene for me here.


me goofing around with my sis with one of our SUPER RARE zi pai attempts LOL

Other than attending Korean-related events, I also got to do many other stuff related to it. I watched tons of drama, some at a slow pace, but some at disgustingly fast speed (I finished Scent Of a Woman in 2 days and Protect The Boss in 3 days). After the new year arrived, I went back and continued learning Korean, which I stopped for a while during Year 5 in order to focus on studies. Most of my friends think I study Korean just for my love for SNSD, which is true ONLY to a certain extent (lol self-denial). I really like the Korean culture, which I learnt from Korean documentaries and dramas and there is many things about Korea which are intriguing and tend to be forgotten, from other genres of Korean music to the culture and even the food. This includes myself, who can’t seem to stop idolizing SNSD until it gets to the point of being annoying, but I would say I’m not so into K-pop and the Korean wave as compared to perhaps 2 years ago. I don’t go on Soshified everyday or listen to K-pop everyday lol. But still as I stated before, I would support those 9 girls all the way! Many tend to forget or don’t even know the hard work these idols put into their debut. Although I don’t like all the K-pop groups, I do have respect for all of them, given the years of dedication they put into their work and practice, along with the ability for them to survive the wrath of the many kinds of fans. Other than that, I do fan subs, which after going through the process itself, realize how tiring the process is. Dramas are much easier, but imagine a group of people talking to each other in a variety show, and not to mention the captions. But all of these I’m just taking it as an experience and take that I’m helping the community, as well as the subbing groups who 100% do it for the fans (unlike some which do for the fans)


9 angels ❤

Other than that, there are many things I’ve done. Sometimes, I would just sit down and play the guitar, while singing out songs at the balcony by myself. Although there isn’t a beautiful view or something (all I see is the PIE lol), it feels great with the silent night and night breeze blowing at you. I also do go exercise on a more regular basis, such as going to the gym or go for a run. Running around the Kembangan track really feels good, and it really helps you clear your mind and worries (things just feel so awesome when done at night). Having a healthy body really makes you feel good. You don’t really need to have a killer figure, just one which is healthy. I also started to read books, which kinda reminded me of my Primary School days which I read every single Roald Dahl book. Having school means I just couldn’t find the time to read books, but now I do haha. I always imagined myself to be at a Starbucks, sipping at hot coffee while reading a book, which I get to do now! Last year, I go there and study, while getting chased at times, but now no such thing happens! Enjoying the rich coffee smell, sitting on the dimly lit shop on a couch and just read a book. I should be out with a job and earning money, but I’ve been doing the opposite and blowing money instead, which makes me feel like a lazy pig. (writes note: must find job after NS)

Of course, I do go out with friends (I do not stay at home all day okay -_-). Like what Terence said, friends are REALLY important. When you have no one to turn to, you can always turn to your friends. It’s always nice to meet friends after school ended, from 4F to 24 to any one I’ve met during my 6 years in DHS. Although there was no 4F or 24 chalet (lazy me…), there were many outings between both class and guys that I went, and it’s just feels really good to just sit down, chill, relax and chat about stuff. I also (like 18 months haha) finally got to clear something off my head through HTHT haha, so it’s all good. Most of the guys are enlisting in like a few days, and I really wanted to spend more time with them, but all of us have to go serve our nation, sooner and later. During my break, I really got to spend good time together, from cocking around, going to the gym, eating together, talking to each other about life, and many other things. I would really miss the school times we spent together, and hopefully all of us can keep in touch (which I’m sure we would). Especially for someone like me which is incredibly shy, it’s really rare to find such great friends, and I feel fortunate to have such friends and could not have asked for better. This reminded me of Tiffany, whom I respect a lot for being so mentally strong, despite her mom passing way when she was at a young age.

Mom, you left this world before I have, but you gave me 8 sisters.


*bows back*

In all, there are many other things that I wanted to do (really learn drumming, travelling around, jamming with the guys, etc.), but I’m already satisfied. You always take things for granted, even to the simplest stuff such as having a house to live in, or to have both of your parents etc. Nearly every year, as I look back, I really feel like I’ve grown a lot and matured. Let’s hope this trend goes on and I can improve on myself and become a better person in the future!

Hoping the year 2012 would be a good one for all! And it’s good to be alive~

P.S. I got my inspiration to write this long, long note from 艾莉絲, whom recently got married. Randomly hopped on her blog and got the inspiration from there haha. Time really flies, 2 years ago I was watching her hosting tian cai chong chong chong and now she’s married >.<


glad she got her perfect wedding haha

10,000 views ^^

Congrats to myself hitting the 5 digit mark LOL! Actually this doesn’t really mean anything, but still thanks to all those people out there who view this lousy WordPress (even though one quarter of them are searching for nude pics and stuff =.=). Anyways, I have so much things to post here, but sadly I got fucking CTs next week, but I will make sure that posting here is one of the first things I do after CTs! Already got one in my head for a long time, till then, jiayou to myself .__.

Old School~

I’m back, bitches.

Decided not to abandon this WordPress lols. Wanted to create a new one, but couldn’t think of a nice name, so I just sticked to this one. Changed the theme to the one I used way back, seems quite nice anyways. Did a banner too, but this one is so damn ugly compared to the previous one. It’s so hard to find nice photos of the appropriate banner size to be used, but I’ll stick with this one. Will use different Categories too, like this post. Other than that, I will be posting on this WordPress hopefully at least once a month. more of reflection stuff and I leave my fanboying of SNSD and other less important stuff to my Tumblr.

I will add one post REALLY SOON from my orientation week, other thant that. Peace