Baby I was born this way~

Motivation at an all time-high. *screams*

This won’t be a really long post, just another Friday post I like to write after a hectic week. I don’t know why, but I suddenly found motivation to chiong. Not sure why, but it’s doing wonders. It’s the kind of motivation which makes you want to scream to the world that “I can do it.”. This motivation is kind of strange, since they are sort of positives and negatives. So why do I want my A’s? For myself? Now, it’s more of the push to prove to others that I can do it, and whatever I’m achieving now isn’t just a one-time fluke. Now every time I study at school, I find myself smiling and smirking at the same time. Why? I’m smiling because I’m enjoying this ride, and no matter what happens around me, it just seems insignificant when you are focused. So why do I smirk? Well, I know that every time I get something productive done while others don’t, I’m climbing up slowly in the rankings and even if I don’t, I can find myself improving. I always like to “release” a sigh of relief, because I know that what I do will pay off, and at the end of the year, it would be all worth it.

So this is my mindset now, those who work hard and are willing to put in the effort, I wish that your efforts pay off and it will reflect in your results. Every time I go to the canteen or the library, I feel motivated to see people studying there. 100% pure focus, and makes me want to buy a drink, find a table and start mugging myself. Unlike some jokers out there, still playing around and relaxing when they are already behind. Keep fooling around, I’m happy that you’re having fun. I’ll like to see if you still can smile when you see your results. (: You people are already behind, and yet no actions are taken. In some sense, these group of people are my source of inspiration as well. They kinda reminds me of myself at Year 5, which points to the fundamental problem of getting your priorities correct. Less than a year ago, I just kept procrastinating, no motivation and as expected, fucking up my studies. I can still remember the criticism where people question my ‘luck’ in the Promos, and that they ‘mug goddamn hard’ for the whole year and yet they get worse results than me, who probably only chiong in the last 2-3 months. Well, the tides have turned. I’m making sure I don’t return to my old ways, and in the process, I would hopefully able to prove all my doubters.

Maybe all my recent posts have been too focused on my studies, but now studies are obviously my top priority. Never be afraid, and just run ahead. I feel bloody fucking awesome now. *goes back to do some work*.

I’m on the right track baby I was born this way~

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CNY Break~

Currently watching ‘Tell Me Your Wish’, haven’t watched it for a while. It’s the only song which I don’t get sick watching again and again. haha

Enjoying the CNY break now, didn’t really do much this week, but gained a lot nonetheless! Got back Maths, really happy although I lost 2 marks due to silly careless mistakes, oh god. Chemistry is next week, so I will work hard to do well(shit i sound like a fucking nerd). Had good mugging sessions in the library, really productive and did a lot, should do it more often. Played ball on Wednesday, never played so hard before. I guess those jogging sessions during the holidays really helped, never felt played. Played some mahjong too. These days I basically do work at seriously weird timing, like starting work at 10pm, stopping at 2am to watch some k-dramas. Probably going out to study tml as well, and meet up with 4F and watch CO concert.

Nothing really to post. haha things going well so far. Feeling good right now. Soon after the CNY, will need to live the life of a student. I would be probably doing two things, study and guitar. Till then, wishing all a happy Chinese New Year!

To Tumblr we go!

It has been a nice 2 years with this wordpress, but its time for something different. Thanks to all those who still view this blog, it will stay here for some reflection purposes.

nickakaguardian.tumblr.com

byes

Tumblr vs WordPress

Lol dead dead dead (no idea how many times i repeated the word dead) Holiday life not as enriching as it seems. I have aches all over my body from gym and my hard disk crashed. I’m kinda sick doing all those holiday assignments bleh. But no idea whether i should continue this wordpress blog. always tempted to change to tumblr because im not using wordpress to its full potential. Tumblr seems much simpler and for user-friendly regarding pictures.

Not sure if I would make the change, time will tell.

It is good to fail at times

I probably write too much on the topic on failure, but I’ll go ahead with it anyway.

1 mark from passing the Common Test, 0.7 mark from passing the overall assessment, and 1 point away from passing. Some people may got it worse than me. But sometimes failing could be a good thing. If I didn’t fail, I might be now still lost in my own world and it might be a little too late. Failing is not one who falls, but one who does not get up. Many time have others blame anyone but themselves, and do not recognize the fact that the only person able to help them are themselves. I am guilty of this common mistake before, but maybe now with a more mature mindset, I finally realize this.

CSSUU. Those were my grades for Common Tests, it was a cruel wake up call from reality. I was in deep shit. When things get difficult, it’s always tempting to lower expectations. Nothing seemed to go my way. At first I was hoping to just pass the year, but I wanted to do something for myself. “Prove it to yourself you can do it, do not care about what others have done, because you are not them”. As Thomas Edison once said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Lol maybe I have been close to it, but I didn’t do anything to help the cause.

So the battle began. Many times I just wanted to give up, lie down, and just slack off the day. I had only one thing in mind, the best of my abilities to be shown on that damn result slip. If you put in effort, it would show, one way or another. I was now ready to face the failure hanging with me for five years, to chip it off slowly but surely.

Results came back, time to see if those mugging sessions and coffee worked. So what did I get? ACCDE. Looks pretty average in my school, but definately a much improvement from those S and U. Things will never be the same for me. I now believe that I’m not a bottom student. I can do it, and that is only true after hard work and determination. I proved to myself that I could do it, and now I just need to carry this attitude and confidence for 1 more year into A-levels.

Success only comes to those who, even after failure and failure, to think positively and look forward confidently. If I had given up, I probably would not have time to even write this post. If I learn something from this experience, it would be one thing. Failure does not mean that you suck and will never make it, its just means that you need to put in more effort and hang in there longer.

Failure can be a bitch sometimes, but this asshole called failure can be a good learning life experience at times. You can only succeed once you taste failure

P.S Sorry if this post seems dry and there’s no SNSD pictures LOL. I’m in the process of revamping (really this time) this wordpress. I’m going to stick with it since it has some posts I really like. Haha