Keep Going

Suzy V

“Bring your own sunshine.”

I’m still forever posting something school related here, and sadly I think it’s going to stay that way for a while LOL. I’ll try my best to deviate from the usual ranting of school-related stuff and also not to repeat myself again. Just a short update before going back to studying mode (like I ever was whoops).

Recess and reading weeks were 2 periods where I really needed to utilize to catch up on my studies. No shit didn’t happen at all. There was so much negativity around me for the past few months, and my poor mental state just made the issue even worse. I was giving half fuck towards everything. The preparation for 2 concerts were both physically and mentally draining on me. If I looked at it as a whole semester, it was just poor time management on my part; it could have been possible to keep up all these commitments. However, it could have also been just my incapability to juggle all of these activities along with my studies. The irony that I keep repeating on the fact that I need my personal time and space, when I myself am engaged in so many school activities. After attending 2 different concerts for 2 different CCAs, the paths I went through in KDT and GENUS have been scarily so different. I won’t go into details, but there are many obvious questions there are in my mind regarding them. What S said was so goddamn true; that the things you do in the CCA doesn’t really matter; what matters in the end are the people in the CCA. Although you might see me rant a lot about my CCA, even though some might not have been as enjoyable as I hoped for it to be, everything is a learning process and no regrets!

Ranting aside (ranting again sigh), it really feels great to have my weekends free again. Only recently did I legitimately feel that I had a proper study session, took me over 2 months for that to happen LOL. It was truly a much needed break from my school activities, along with a huge wake up call to get back to my studies. It wasn’t any specific event that triggered this wake up call, it was more of a barrage of unhappy things which accumulated over the weeks. It was damn obvious from my speech and ‘pissed off face’ (quoting someone HAHA) everyday in school. It was dumb of me to spend time with toxic people, it was dumb of me to lower my own standard to some people, and it was dumb of me to let someone have so much influence on my emotions. “Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been, to stand up taller than you ever were.” 

How life feels sometimes

How life feels sometimes

I’m used to be alone nowadays, .. It’s not that I’m a loner or I need my personal space. It’s just that I’m used to being self sufficient, or as P mentioned, introverts like us are used to having our doors closed, and we only open it up to the right people. In school, you’re kinda used to seeing people always hanging out together and scared to be judged and seen as a loner just because you are alone. The problem is… these right people are hard to find. I’m always suanning a certain person whose spending so much time together with another someone (no first letters sorry), then this person went on to comment on me always being alone and asking if I’m jealous. LOL… bitch please “A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinion of a sheep.” That’s why it’s important to be happy on your own terms, and not let anyone else decide what are the terms to happiness. No one ever said that you have to be with people to be happy, if I’m happy being alone then all is well. Everyday is still a learning process on how I feel I can improve as a person, and again everyone has their own definition of ‘improve’. I can say I’m still immature as fuck, so I really hope that I can work on just simply be a better person I was yesterday, always baby steps 🙂

The start of finals is less than 2 weeks away, fortunately (or maybe unfortunately if you see it from another point of view) my finals this time are spread out quite nicely. A very busy (& self-inflicted I must say) holiday awaits: NBC, UC & U-Y. My interviews for OGL/councilor was uhm… interesting? >.< Instead of showing an enthusiastic side which most people would be looking out for, I decided to show a more caring side which somehow worked out. YAYS! From the start, I applied for all these camps without much expectations and there was nothing to lose anyways. I would have been satisfied to play a part in any of the camps that I signed up for and somehow again, I got into all the camps that I signed up. DOUBLE YAYS! Can’t imagine myself being that enthusiastic senior trying to hype up everyone, first steps into being a senior haha. More new experiences. TRIPLE YAYS! 🙂 hehehe yes i siao liao LOL.

With the pubz comm! :D

With the pubz comm! 😀

A bit sad to not have the time to post here. One of the reasons why I have been lagging behind here is because all of my posts seems so depressing and negative. Yes this WordPress has been a ranting ground but obviously it would be really nice to post some happy moments, but I guess it’s harder than I expected. Another hiatus till after finals. The holidays are lined up with many activities, really can’t wait but please Nick, focus on studies. FOCUS!!!! Fun can wait, it’s time to save the semester~

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So difficult to care and not care at the same time…

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4 thoughts on “Keep Going

  1. I have been reading your posts/rants recently and I can really relate to them 🙂 Am an introvert too in MBTI. Though I have a group of close friends I’m comfortable with when it comes to studying I prefer to be alone. In JC, I did not actually ‘fit in’ with my class and CCA and spent most of my time with my sec school friends. I really hope university will be a different experience haha 🙂 Am currently deciding between NTU and NUS accountancy so will be your junior if I decide to go NUS. I really hope you can answer some of my questions. Like what made you choose NUS accountancy? And do you regret your decision? Lastly, so you seldom work with other people in accountancy during your modules?

    I don’k know anyone from NUS accountancy/biz so I’m seeking help online. Hope you don’t mind. 加油 for finals!

    • Hi Isabel,

      I’ll try my best to address your questions bit by bit 🙂

      Regarding my choice of NUS over NTU, it was made simply because of NUS being a more prestigious university over NTU. I know most people prefer NTU as it offers 3 years direct honors, compared to NUS which is 4 years (and not guaranteed honors), but hey this is your real last phase as a student so there is no rush!

      Regrets over NUS accountancy? Although you see my rant a lot (REALLY A LOT) regarding this course, there hasn’t been a moment which I actually considered transferring course. I would say it’s a definitely competitive environment with all your peers being super smart and you will be in the same seminar room fighting over class participation. I have friends who couldn’t take the pressure of class participation and transferred courses. It’s a new environment in university which may be daunting at first, but if you’re up to it you can surely survive like all of us in NUS are! 🙂

      For the first 2 years, most of business students are taking core modules (which all business students must take), so most likely work with Business Admin students as well. It really depends on how your classes are. Not to worry though, there isn’t any difference between Business Admin and Business Accountancy students!

      Thanks and if you still have any questions, feel free to just ask them! 😀

      – Nick

      • Thanks so much for your reply 🙂

        I’m curious whether you have thought about what career you would like to pursue in the future because I heard from one of the prof that majority of the nus (acct) students go into the big 4 so they are at a disadvantage compared to ntu graduates.

        Furthermore, is the course like not really applicable to real working life? Cause most of the professors do not have work experience so I’m afraid it will be too theoretical? Correct me if I am wrong but people repeatedly tell me that nbs is more prestigious than the biz school in nus. Is there any truth to that?

        The acceptance deadline is looming and I am feaking out!!!

      • Hello again Isabel! 🙂

        What I’m saying may be slightly bias to NUS (since I’m a student here), so this is just my opinion and take it with a pinch of salt.

        I don’t agree that NUS students are more disadvantaged, because when it comes to companies looking at your resume, what I feel is that both NUS and NTU are seen on an equal level. What sets people apart are the other stuff, like internships experiences, leadership positions etc.

        Definitely what you learn in school may be slightly different from what you apply in a real workplace experience, so this highlights the importance of an internship to see what area of accounting is suitable for you and what a normal job day would be like. In terms of prestigious, different companies have different opinions, and why people think NBS is more prestigious is because the rank is higher, but you can’t underestimate the brand name of NUS, which recently is named top university in Asia!

        Hope that helps, just make a decision following your heart and not based purely on stats!

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