Only One Way – Up

“Always relax. If you are chilled and relaxed no one and nothing out there will ever disturb you, let it be distractions, worries, mistakes or just silly moments. When you are not relaxed you are just like a ticking time bomb; a dynamite waiting to go off, so get out and love your life no matter how much shit is going on, calm down because panicking is not going to get it better.”

Just a reminder to tell myself to keep calm in the midst of all the stress, and yes le me thought of the above quote HAHAHA. Another quick post because I am totally in no mood to some studying LOL. 4 papers down, 1 more to go. I won’t go on how I fucked up each module haha.  To be honest, I felt like I could have done so much better for my finals, maybe that’s why I feel so disappointed and at the same time frustrated at myself. And this was supposedly the easier basket; can’t imagine myself in Biz Comm and Marketing next semester. I really want to write and share something happy here, but its more and more negative posts being written here. And here I am, telling all of my friends to be more optimistic and inject some positivity in their lives when I am not doing so myself. It’s really true that we always see the negative sides of things. When a kid gets 99 marks for his test, nowadays people only take note of the 1 mark where the kid lost. New motto included into my list: Always look on the bright side of life.

Me & my cheat sheet! (forgive the eye bags T.T)

Me & my cheat sheet! (forgive the eye bags T.T)

It really felt like desperation mode as the finals approached. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, especially when I gave myself a heads up to start revision. I only started doing my summary notes 1 week before finals when it was supposed to be done months ago. I was still unclear of basic concepts and only figuring them out as the finals approach. I finished my cheat sheet for my GEM 1 hour before the actual paper; really living on an edge with my current work ethics. I was very tempted to just caffeinate myself everyday and burn the midnight oil to cover my work, but in the end I didn’t want to spoil my body just for the sake of studying. I studied way harder back during As; I blame technology for being unproductive LOL. Maybe I should just leave my phone at home when I go outside to mug. I seriously, jinjja really need to take a good look at my style of mugging because my current style is far from good. Still, shout out to all my study buddies over the past 2 weeks who made the studying more tolerable! 😀

The most important takeaway I got from university so far is that I am much more than my CAP. In some sense, I feel like there is a small streak in color in my university life; the same streak of color I wished I had back during my secondary school days. I would say the best takeaway from Dunman High was the 4F guys, and I’m starting to wonder if there would be one from university. But forever DEJA VU I swear, as I am starting to shut myself out from the class, kind of like what I did in 24. I start to realize that I am of different frequencies from most of them, partially because this is self-induced since I’m not even trying. Aside from S, JQ, L and maybe JY plus MW, I can dare say I spoke less than 10 sentences (other than work) to the rest of the people in my class. That’s how pathetic of a situation I am in LOL. I only came to this realization when I went to 2 of my fellow classmates’ birthday celebrations. The same group of people which I thought I was closest to from all the camps that I attended, now seem like a distance away. That single outing probably put a confirmation stamp on how I hate to be in large groups. You could call it a phobia though; and the list of insecurities goes on. Maybe I need to do a shuffle of priorities and goals too, as well as some deep self-reflection on what I really want from the 3/4 years I spent here in NUS. Hahas forgive me please from the emo-ing, I was really hurt when the class celebrated several birthdays this month, all except for mines :(((, and the words from a particular someone didn’t help at all. HAIYO NEGATIVITE THOUGHTS SHOOOO GO AWAY, let’s move on.

Expect a reflection post, and also standard new year resolutions post soon enough. (I’m glad I am posting here more often!) In addition also some proper classification for my posts! Given how many posts are being backlogged, I don’t think I will do any travel posts regarding my trip to Korea back in May :(. I’ll probably condense O’week to a post or two, and for Union Camp, I’ll wrap up the last 2 days together. Last paper on Saturday, Korea in a week. Here’s to the happiness in December as the year 2014 comes to a close. Again the title of the post is a reference to a song yet again hahas, I really need to think of more original titles.

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P.S. I think Tiffany is slowly creeping up my bias list HAHA. I only recently found out this cover and omg love love love <3! *fanboys*

So don’t you worry, baby you got me
I got a bad boy, I must admit it
You got my heart, don’t know how you did it
And I don’t care who sees it babe
I don’t want to hide the way I feel when you’re next to me

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