Fireflies

"If ten million fireflies, lit up the world as I fell asleep"

“If ten million fireflies, lit up the world as I fell asleep”

My posts have been too long and delayed so this is my attempt in doing a short 1 day post! Maybe I’ll start having a new category name for my short doodles as well.

Quick update time! End of Sem 1 Week 12. Life has been too like a routine for the past few weeks. Study, eat, go back home all tired, sleep. wake up, travel again, study. Rinse and repeat. It’s really feeling like deja vu all over again, where I burned myself out before A levels even started. Okay I’m definitely not mugging as hard as before, but the motivation is nowhere to be find. Finals are approaching and I haven’t even started on my revisions, having to spend time on other projects and I can’t even keep up with the current workload already. DIE DIE DIE ME bleh. After lessons today, I hid myself in a secluded seminar room and just let my mind drift: the daunting past which forever comes back to haunt you; and the future which you have no idea what to expect. I was never really in the mood to do work, even though work has been piling up. What was supposed to be a comparing of answers with JQ ended up totally different.. yeah it sort of become a mini HTHT (yes how random). It wasn’t the longest HTHT session, and somehow it ended up me emo-ing more instead LOL. Normally I don’t reveal so much of myself, even to people close to me, and the feel wasn’t really there either. My perception of HTHT always involves it being past midnight and some form of alcohol is involved. It felt better to talk to someone instead of always ranting it here though :P. And now I’m at some Starbucks doing more thinking: this time only about the present. Don’t let the past grab hold of you and why worry over things that haven’t happen?

This brings me to the title of post, Fireflies! Why fireflies? Well, they are a symbol of hope, energy, patience, aspiration and inspiration: All things which I desperately need. I will do a reflection of the whole semester probably on December so this will do for now. Again, I really hate that I think so much grrrr. Let go, let loose and let’s do this shit! Till then, stay strong Nick the end is near, the fucking holidays await me! Oh yeah before I forget, last month I hit 20,000 views on this WordPress. Okay actually there’s nothing much to celebrate about LOL, but to commemorate I decided to do an extra 10 facts about myself, so here goes!

Screenshot (42)

over 800 visitors for October!!

10 EXTRA FACTS ABOUT ME

1) I have a WordPress! Quite a number of people I know in real life don’t even know of its existence. It’s sort of both a private and public place for me to rant and share any random thoughts and stories.

2) Reading this blog made me realize how much I have changed, and mostly for the better. ^_^ and also how much more insecure and naggy I have been LOL #foreverrantingmodeon

3) Still, one bad change is that I became really vulgar both online here and real life LOL. I’m trying my best to cut down on the profanities but not much progress have been made.

4) I used to be an INFP before recently I did the test again and it came out ISFJ. Not sure what it implies, still as introverted as ever.

5) I’m too socially awkward. Many times I feel suffocated in large groups and I can go hours sitting there not uttering a single word. (and this is why I REALLY REALLY appreciate people that talk to me first hehe)

6) but in front of my friends I can be a total chatterbox! If I can converse with you without any awkwardness, it means I’m comfortable with you! (which is kinda rare tbh HAHA) 😀

7) I really like to HTHT and it’s always interesting to hear stories from other people. Everyone has gone through their own ups and downs, and each of these are unique in its own way. It sorts of bond people closer as well since you are sharing secret stories which you don’t normally share on a normal basis. (so freaking coincidence haha please..)

8) I wished I worked harder during my first 4 years in Dunman High, and conversely not work so hard during my last 2 years in Dunman High. But I’m totally cool with my journey in DHS because I met really awesome people here (whom some sadly have drifted)

9) My sister is really a carbon copy of me when it comes to traits and personality. We are both introverted ttm; we both suck at languages but excel in math and sciences. And we both have our own secret WordPress that we constantly rant/emo on HAHA. The list goes on and on, trust me.

10) And we have come to an agreement that some of my sister’s female hormones ended up in me WHOOPS. I’n forever getting judged having a selfie stick and a polaroid, and me decorating my room walls with photos and polaroids… MUST YOU BE A GIRL TO DO SUCH THINGS TSK!

And a bonus fact, because I wanted an 11th fact because Seohyun’s jersey number is 11 HAHA (fanboy side expose once again)

11) I’m missing someone…

OKAY CUT! 

 

Cause everything is never as it seems, when I fall asleep

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