More and more thoughts are running through my mind as I type this. I’m seriously starting to think too much and this is kinda making me lose my happiness. Worst, I’m bickering about the small things in life and not concentrating the big events ahead for me. In short, I need to stop getting bloody emotional about everything in life.
I think I’m at this point where I’m getting on my own nerves. Gone are the days I can do whatever I want, studies are dominating my life. Too much, but I guess that’s the opportunity cost if you want good grades (lol). In this sense, I’m here to remind myself that getting all nerdy and stuff is cool, and I just need to make sure I keep my sanity while I keep mugging. I need to revive that awesome feeling I had months before while mugging and everything is going to be OK.
The one issue that always tingles in my mind is my class. Last, last, LAST. So why are we so bad? Ok we may not have the best teachers, but that’s no freaking excuse. If you are in trouble, don’t be afraid to look for help. You need to face your problems, not come up with excuses. And tuition is not a wonder-solution, you need to put in your own effort as well. Last year, I was one of those assholes who keep failing. But now, as I see myself being the 1/3 of the class passing Chem, I wonder why. Most of the people in class probably have higher PSLE, GPA or even mid-year results than me, yet they can’t even pass and want to be the top. You gotta take baby steps, and effort is a continuous process you need to keep at, it’s not a 1-week journey at which you expect immediate results.
So what comes up these days in my mind? Attitude, just gotta keep at it and never give up. I’m not going to be constrained by certain boundaries and should be aiming for greater heights. Seeing other classes like Yong Sheng’s and Terence’s classes just make me go wow. These are environments you want to be in, challenges are also coming and everyone is pushing to be even better. Had a talk with Terence last week and made me realise a few things. One is that I’m still far away from my best, but as I said, baby steps. The 2nd is that we have to work what we have. Life doesn’t make it easy for you, you gotta find ways to get yourself out. Lastly, although I may mug crazily and still suck, don’t be discouraged because trying is always better than not trying.
Probably vented enough for today. I’m just going to be myself for the following days and let karma path its way. Maybe a little tweak in attitude and personality would help along the way. Till then, its probably less than 35 hours till SYF and I’m actually not nervous at all. Must be due to the immense practise we put in for the past few months. This theory would be applicable to the incoming A’s and there’s less than 200 days remaining till the dreaded A’s.
Just gotta keep pushing.