It’s going to be alright!

Another TGIF moment lol, starting to look forward to the CNY break already even though only 2 weeks has passed. Shall try to type this note on a happy note instead, been too emotional these past days.

Starting to get a feel of what I an going to be for this year, or at least for the next few weeks. I’m trying to replicate the way I studied last year during the EOY period. Have a change in attitude, and make sure to put your words into action. Everyone is calling me a “changed man” lol, which I kind of dislike. It’s only 2 weeks into school, and people have been so positive with my newfound attitude. However, I’m starting to lose my drive and my motivation, and my mugging feels kinda more and more forced. Although I have done it before, there’s still that little fear that you got, the fear of you failing despite all the effort you have shown. But take baby steps I suppose, so I need to make sure to have that never-say-die attitude through out the year and make sure it isn’t just a one-shot-thing which will fizzle out slowly.

I guess due to my mugging style, I’m starting to isolate myself. I still have this sense of awkwardness in the class, like I’m a new student in the class. I prefer to study at the library compared to the canteen where my class is. It’s more quiet, comfortable, has free aircon and conducive. Being alone means you get less distracted, which is I suppose a good thing… I’m the chairperson of my class, yet I’m not acting like one and being away from them doesn’t help. I always tell myself one thing, that if I am truly willing to put in the effort, it will show somehow. It can be torturous and painful, but it would be worth it. Same goes for guitar, if people are willing to put in so much effort in guitar, why can’t I? We all have the same amount of time in the world. It’s just that others make full use of their time, while I don’t. Lol god I make myself look like an asshole now.

I find myself much happier than the me 3 years ago, wow time flies. Live life to the fullest, and always remember to smile. Maybe I have been smiling too much lol, as seen by awkward scenes during guitar haha. I laugh at even the smallest things of life now, which should be a good thing now right? Stay strong, and live the way you want to live.

Let’s do this thing.